"HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?!!!"

"Kentaro, please stop--"  It was all Nambu could do to hold the raging Red Impulse Captain back from flattening the cringing soldier who had been in charge of his son's guards.

"ONE SCREAM... ONE YELL...  THAT'S ALL HE WOULD HAVE NEEDED TO KNOW THAT HE WAS IN DANGER!  THAT'S ALL THE URGING GATCHAMAN WOULD HAVE NEEDED TO ARM HIMSELF!"

"Kenta--"

"WE TELL HIM THAT HE CAN DEPEND ON YOU AND YOU CAN'T EVEN GIVE HIM THAT SQUEAK!  WHAT USE ARE YOU MARINES?!!  THEY TOOK HIM OFF THE BEACH AND IF WE HADN'T ALERTED YOU, HOW MANY HOURS WOULD YOU HAVE WAITED BEFORE YOU CHECKED ON YOUR MEN??!!!  HOW LONG WOULD IT HAVE BEEN BEFORE WE DISCOVERED HIS DISAPPEARANCE?!!"

Nambu winced at the volume.  The Red Impulse Captain was in fine form as he rounded on the unfortunate Marines Captain.  Kentaro hadn't stopped yelling since they found out about the kidnapping.

"Kentaro... Please, that's enough."  Nambu swung his best friend away from the soldier.

Kentaro Washio shook off his hands to turn away and sink into a chair, clutching his head in his hands while the Marine turned a helpless look at Nambu.  The doctor knew that he had to get the officer out of the room.  Kentaro was seething with ill hidden fury.  If he allowed Ken's father to stay in the room any longer with the hapless Captain... bones were going to be broken.

In any case, it was obvious that the Captain would be of no further help, so Nambu dismissed him with a discrete warning that his men make themselves scarce.  It was quite understandable that the members of the Kagaku Ninjatai would not be looking too kindly on the surviving guards.

With that distraction gone, Nambu turned his full attention back to his best friend.

"Kentaro?"  Nambu put a comforting hand on his shoulder and felt his friend tremble in anxiety.

"What is Katse going to do to my son, Kozaburo?"

Nambu had no answer to that.  Instead, he turned to the only other occupant of the room, who had remained quiet since she took her seat.  The counselor who Ken had finally opened his heart and mind to.  And who had, in the past months, helped him climb out of the yawning pit of fear and despair that the stress of the war had thrown him into.

"Madam Lim?"

The venerable old woman looked up at him, her face a mask of fear and anxiety.

"He had come so far, Kozaburo."  Naked fear burned in her brown eyes.  "If Berg Katse knows what he is doing...  Katse will strip him of the identity of Gatchaman, Kozaburo.  That will not be a difficult task if Ken is unable to manifest the uniform.  Katse can take away his strongest shield by stripping him."

"Is Ken..."

"He will try to be brave.  He will hold out as long as he can.  But the mask will falter without the uniform."  She droned on as if Nambu hadn't spoken.  "Ken *knows* how dependent he is on the uniform to protect and shield him.  His identity of Gatchaman is his crutch, we were... we were going to talk more about it.  We were making progress.  If Katse..."

Kentaro had looked up as he heard these words and it only drew the cloak of despair tighter around him.  He could not help but flashback to a conversation he had had with his son, less than two days after the end of that traumatic mission.

{"Do you honestly think the guards can make a difference if Katse decided to come after me now?  An opponent is most vulnerable when they think that they're safe.  We've lost more agents through carelessness than on missions."}(1)

Kentaro choked as his son's recent words rang through his mind again.

{"...isn't it more dangerous for me to have the guards than it is for me to be without them?  Isn't it all just a false sense of security?"}

The memory of his son's words mocked him now with how close to the truth they were.

In the months that passed, it looked as if Ken was finally going to get over the pain and trauma of those three days of captivity.  He had furthermore thought beyond his own pain to give a press conference to the world regarding his rape.  Kentaro felt the swell of pride within him again at the memory of his son's insistence on a press conference to reach out to other victims of rape and admit to his personal problems and his need for help.

They had been afraid that the Galactors would seize this opportunity to trumpet their success in breaking Gatchaman.  But Ken had been very careful with his speech.  He made it known in no uncertain terms that Gatchaman was not affected at all, that it was only his private life that had become a personal hell.  And that his family and friends had refused to let him give up his civilian identity to be just Gatchaman.

The counseling had made inroads and Ken was finally resolving the lingering fears.  With Madam Lim helping him, Ken had less need to walk the beach.  Though he could still occasionally be found walking that stretch in the wee hours of the morning, Kentaro and Joe had noticed that Ken would more frequently be in his civilian attire rather than in bird style.  They were assured that he was starting to feel relaxed and comfortable in civilian attire again.

This had been one of those nights when Ken decided to forego the added security of the bird style to take the walk in his civvies.  And the Galactors swooped in to kidnap him from a place the ISO would have sworn was one of the most secure locations on earth.

Kentaro could feel the heat of anger and rage flare within him at their audacity.  The Galactors had taken him from their beach in the dead of the night.  *THEIR* beach!

It was a professional effort.  The marines were quietly taken out one by one.  If Ken had sensed any activity around him, he must have thought they were of his guards.   The Galactors had shot him with drugged darts before he even knew he was in danger.  From the potency of the drugs, they guessed that he was unconscious before he hit the sand.  After that, it was only a matter of loading him into the stealth boats and disappearing.

"They can't remove his communicator, Kentaro.  Ken will get a message to us, if he is able."

"If he is able..."  Kentaro repeated Nambu's words numbly.  He stared up at his closest friend and almost lost it to tears.

Nearly a year ago, the Galactors had captured the Eagle.  He hadn't been able to send out a signal for help then.  They milled around uselessly for over two days waiting for Gatchaman to contact them, during which time...

Kentaro squeezed his eyes shut as another wave of despair washed over him.  He had little hope that his son would be able to send them a signal this time either.

"Kentaro, why don't you go talk to Joe."  Nambu told him gently. "Ting Ting may need your help restraining him."

"I--"

"Go talk to Joe, Kentaro.  I'll inform you immediately if I hear anything."  Nambu repeated as he pulled the man to his feet.

"I--"

"Go."

As soon as the door closed behind the Red Impulse Captain, Nambu turned his strained face towards Madam Lim for assurance.  But there was none forthcoming from the petite Chinese dowager.

"I've failed him, Kozaburo.  I've failed him and myself." She had shrunk into herself as she hugged her arms.  "We've talked of Berg Katse before.  We've talked and... psychoanalyzed what we know of the Galactor leader.  I should have guessed... I should have warned him..."

"Madam Lim, you cannot think of everything."  Nambu approached to kneel by her side and rest his hand on her shoulder.  "How could we have known--?"

"It is my business to know, Kozaburo.  Retirement has broken my astuteness."  Her tears flowed down the lines of her face.  "From what we know of Berg Katse... I should have guessed that the press conference would enrage him.  *I* should have known, Kozaburo.  I should have warned all of you..."

She started to laugh bitterly.  "And here again...  I have broken one of the strictest rules of my profession.  I've once more overstepped the bounds of the patient doctor relationship."

"Madam Lim... I'm sorry to have brought you to this grief."

She turned to look at him and gently reached out to wrap her leathery hand over his.  "No, Kozaburo, don't be sorry.  No regrets.  I must never regret these inadvertent bonds with those I help.  I actually guessed it the instant we met that...

"I could have said 'no' when you tried to drag me out of retirement, Kozaburo.  But I did not.  I do not regret this."

Nambu looked down.  Whatever her words, he could not stifle that feeling of guilt within him for this fresh pain he caused her.  And for the underhanded manner in which he lured her out of retirement.  Then again... it was not as difficult as he had feared to entice her from the quiet little village.

Madam Lim gave him a small smile as his eyes took on a far away look.  She could guess what he was thinking of now.  And her own memories drifted back to those last few weeks of living in quiet serenity, far away from the war.  She might not have moved then, if she had not found that letter from the Utoland ISO to her granddaughter, Ting Ting.

"Ting?  I--noticed that you received a letter from Utoland yesterday."  Madam Lim looked towards her granddaughter curiously that evening after they had retired to the living room.  "Was there some word about your promotion?"

"Well--"  The petite woman flushed guiltily as she stopped brushing the Munchkin in mid-stroke.  "I--hoped you didn't notice it.  It's nothing."

"Granddaughter, you have been trying to hide something from me for months now.  And this is hardly the first letter from Utoland that I have seen."

She winced at the tone.  Grandmother hardly ever addressed her stiffly as 'granddaughter' unless she was annoyed.  Her best course was to tell the truth.  "I've--been offered a position."

"Ting Ting!  That is wonderful!"  Madam Lim frowned with puzzlement at her granddaughter's less than enthusiastic response.  "Out with it, granddaughter.  It appears you refused this position once before."

The petite Chinese woman rolled her eyes and shooed the cat off her lap.  "Mar mar (2), I wish you'd stop doing that."

"What?  Reading you like a book?"  The old woman grinned at her.  "You are hopeless at keeping secrets from *me*, child.  *And* you are not changing the subject.  Why don't you want to join the central laboratories of the ISO?  If you want to advance your career, this would be a very good move."

"But--I'd have to move so far away.  Mar Mar, I don't want you to live alone again.  And--I know you don't want to move back to the city."

"What?  You've been refusing your promotion just to stay here with me?"  Her eyes widened in consternation.

"I *don't* want to leave you up here all by yourself.  I'm still doing all right in the labs here. I--"

"And could we not have talked it over before you so blatantly endangered your future?  Other arrangements cou--"

"Oh yeah, right.  Like there're any other grandkids who want to move halfway to nowhere--  I-I mean--Mar Mar, I like it here.  I like staying with you and I've got a good job here too.  The others, they like to visit, but this isn't a place--"

"Exactly!  So why should you cripple your own career and future to stay--"

"I'm *not* leaving you alone!"  Ting Ting flushed as she looked down in embarrassment for having raised her voice.  "Sorry.  It's a good job, Mar Mar."

A lined and gnarled hand reached out to touch her chin and lift her face to look up.

"And you never gave any thought that I might consider moving with you?"

"What?"

"Ting, for a scientific prodigy you can be remarkably dim."  The venerable old woman smiled at her.

"But--but you've always--you left the city--"

"I've been living up in the highlands for over two decades to escape my success.  Shouldn't it have faded into obscurity by now?  I've been retired more years than you have lived, child.  Perhaps, it's time for me to come down from the mountains."

Nambu noticed the indulging smile on her face and flushed slightly in embarrassment.  Some insight let him follow her train of thought.

"M-Madam Lim, with all sincerity, the Utoland Labs *did* want Ting Ti--"

"I know, Kazaburo.  So does Ting.  The offers did start coming in before Ken--" She stopped delicately.  "But, it did nothing to dampen your enthusiasm in enticing my granddaughter down when you learnt of our familial connection."

"No," Nambu admitted.  The revelation had only made him all the more determined to bring them back to Utoland.

Even over twenty years after her retirement from the field, Dr. Lim was still a legend in the annals of practical psychology.  Earlier that year, Nambu had tracked her down, hoping to beg her return to accept a new patient for the first time in twenty years.  But first he had to get her to leave her little cottage in the mountains.  He knew that if not for her granddaughter, Dr. Lim might never have left that little cottage.

Dr. Chan Ting Ting had already made her name in her own right, at the small ISO research station up in the Alpine mountains, as an up and coming innovator and valued scientist.  A promotion and transfer to the Utoland ISO labs would have been a very desirable move for her, if she could be persuaded to leave that little town.  Therefore, to get both to agree to a move was an ideal situation for all concerned.

After months of letters back and forth, the two women had finally agreed to move, but Nambu knew that that was only half the battle.  Getting Dr. Lim to agree to take a patient was another matter.  And she had put up an adamant front on that first day when Nambu invited her to Crescent Coral to visit her granddaughter's occasional second work place.

The Chinese dowager had been aghast by his request.  She couldn't believe that he had the gumption to recall her from retirement.  Then, he hadn't been privy to the reasons why she had retired at the height of her career.  Nambu could not have known of the stress and pain she had to live through in the last seven years of her practice.

In her younger days, her heart... her natural empathy had made her world-renowned. This phenomenal sensitivity to her patients helped her to reach past hitherto insurmountable barriers to fill the needs of even the most traumatized patients.  She had gained respect and fame for her work with abused children, youths from broken homes; with youthful refugees from war torn countries, and surviving prisoners of war from earlier wars.

But even legends can falter and for Dr. Lim, the toll had come in the form of compassion fatigue.  She had been a doctor who was known for her devotion to her patients, but her care and attention, unfortunately, did not appear to extend to her family.

Then, there finally came a time when she was tired and burnt out from the energies she devoted to her patients.  And realization came too late to save her marriage to a discontented husband, who was unable and unwilling to constantly submerge his own needs to offer her the support she needed.

She found herself faced with rebellious children vying for her attention, who were resentful of her familiar attention to her patients, and a divorce.  Her home had fallen apart around her ears and she had not noticed.  That was when Dr. Lim made her decision to retire.

She had lost the husband but their separation was amiable enough that they shared joint custody of their children.  And seeing how their mother was going to retire to devote her time to them, the children had rallied their patience and waited for her to release her patients slowly and painlessly.

She had released her last patient twenty-two years ago, after nearly twenty-five years of practice as a leading psychologist.  With this departure, she had gone into seclusion with her children to enjoy what was left of their youth and stay away from her profession.

And here, when she was already nearing her 70th year, a total stranger approached her to ask her to return...

"Doctor Nambu, I cannot do this.  Do you understand me?  I *cannot* go back!  I gave up this work over twenty years ago, I have not the strength to reach out any longer."

"Dr--Madam Lim, please."  Nambu corrected himself quickly, remembering her insistence that she had given up the use of 'Dr.' as a prefix.   "I am begging you.  This can't go on.  It is killing us all to see him continue like this."  Nambu had thrown all dignity to the wind to plead with her.  "I am at the end of my rope.

"He doesn't do this consciously, Ken wants to heal.  He knows he has to deal with his pain and resolve his trauma.  But he is also Gatchaman and sometimes it is too hard for him to let down the walls to show his pain.

"We have already changed four therapists for him.  He hadn't been able to open his heart to any of them.  He cannot force himself to trust or reach out to these counselors.  And it only compounds his guilt.

"Ken hates himself for this, he thinks of it as a personal failure.  We can't keep bringing in counselors for him.  Each time we have to send for another doctor, he builds another wall around himself.  But these walls do nothing to keep out the pain.

"Gatchaman continues to maintain that thin veneer of control, but it erodes with each passing day.  He has managed to keep Gatchaman protected, but he is only able to do this through sheer force of will.  We fear for his sanity, D-Madam Lim.  He has had no escape or retreat from his work since this began and the stress builds with each mission."

Despite her expressed resolve not to get involved, Nambu could tell that the venerable old woman was showing sympathy towards his description of Ken's state.  Nambu hoped that he could carefully nudge her towards agreement to meet Ken.

"This cannot go on, Madam Lim.  Outside the uniform, he has no life.  Each time when we start to think that he has finally approached a turning point in his counseling, the Galactors manage to throw something at us which shatters his control and brings all his fears and terrors into the forefront.

"You must understand our difficulty, Madam Lim.  For most rape victims, it is advised that they be removed from the environment which could remind them of the trauma.  But as Gatchaman, Ken is forced back into situations similar to the one that led to the ordeal.  He has no avenue of escape from this at all.

"He thinks of himself as a burden to us now.  He hates the fear, which keeps him apart from us.  He has tried so hard to walk with us again as a civilian, but...

"We have not seen him in civilian attire for over a month, Madam Lim.  He is always in his uniform as Gatchaman, or in his flight suit as the tech pilot.  When he is not Gatchaman, he spends every waking moment with our scientists, designing and testing improvements for our war efforts..."

"It was not always like this."

Nambu felt a tiny glow of success within him for her statement.  "No.  In the beginning, it was--he was much calmer.  He fooled all of us.  His team, the counselors, me... he even fooled himself into thinking he was on the road to recovery.  We--we still don't know what happened to change that."

The retired psychologist had made a valiant effort to remain aloof, but she couldn't stop herself from asking for more detail.  "B-before he started to withdraw from you..."

"The Galactors discontinued the broadcasts, but Katse only shifted his focus to a private harassment campaign.  The team handled what they could.  They rallied around Ken and threatened enough mayhem to stop the Galactor soldiers from taunting them on missions."  Nambu had to grin inwardly at this.  Of all the threats promised by the various members of the Kagaku Ninjatai, Joe's had surprisingly been the mildest.

To their relief, the Galactor soldiers never dared to taunt him to his face.  For all their bluster after the--event, Gatchaman's mere presence silenced the jeers that might have been uttered.  Unfortunately, Berg Katse was another matter.

"The team were not aware of the correspondence Ken had been receiving from Katse.  I--I wouldn't have known either if I hadn't discovered him at the incinerator."

Madam Lim sucked in a deep breath at this.  "So you started to screen *all* his private correspondence as well?"

"What could I do?  Madam Lim, the things that Katse would send him...  The letters, the pictures...  We couldn't stop them.

"In--in any case, it--he had no more friends outside the team and his work.  W-we had to shut him away from all his old friends.  I had to track down each of his friends and acquaintances and give them new identities so that the Galactors wouldn't harm them or try to use them against him because of their prior friendship with him.  He couldn't stay in contact with any of them."

"And so his private life was completely ripped asunder...  What happened next?"

"The next incident was at a private gathering...  A waiter knocked off his wig in the restaurant and he was recognized."

"The poor boy.  His fans...?"

"They--mobbed him.  He--panicked and ran.  After that, it became an uphill battle to get him to leave Crescent Coral.

"The tension escalated during a mission when two of his teammates were briefly taken prisoner by the Galactors.  Ken--Ken barely retained control of his own fears to fool the Galactors into believing they captured the wrong people.  He managed to get everyone out safely, but the team was severely stressed by the fright.(3)  He started avoiding his first counselor then.

"I--I would guess that that was when we started to crowd him again.  We meant well... but we pushed him into yelling at us to give him space.

"It came to a head a few missions later when the Galactors infiltrated a city and created a mechanical jungle within a park.  I can only guess that he must have felt a need to prove himself then, because he went alone to investigate the park without telling any of us and without activating his uniform first.(4)

"He--he was attacked and he almost lost his com bracelet.  When he returned to us, his clothes were ripped and soiled.  We thought..."

"And you all pounced on him.  Almost suffocated him with your concern and he lashed out at you..."

"How--?" Nambu winced at the memory of the words Ken had yelled at them.

{"Will you leave me alone?!  You act as if I'll be carted off to be raped each time we clash with the Galactors!  I can't turn around without one or more of you stepping on my heels!"}

"Yes.  That's--yes.  He apologized later and we did thwart the plans of the Galactors, but Ken remained on the edge.

"We thought at first that he was able to cope with the stress.  In his new job, he used his experience to suggest and design improvements to their uniform.  I thought that would be enough of an outlet for him to excise his fears."

"No, Doctor.  Well intentioned or not, you gave him a greater excuse to become dependent on his identity of Gatchaman."

"I see that now, but I didn't know what else to do.  As the missions got more stressful, everything seemed to go downhill.  We brought in the second counselor, who didn't last very long.  His life was falling apart and we didn't know what to do for him.

"The last time we saw Ken in the city was the night he bolted from the cafe run by Swan Jun in her civilian occupation.  Condor Joe found him in the shower cubicle of his apartments, crying and scrubbing himself until his skin almost bled.  Joe didn't let him know that he had witnessed his breakdown.  When he emerged, he made up an excuse that he had forgotten a previous engagement and came back to change to get ready for it.  If Joe hadn't seen him crying... we might have believed him.

"He slips too easily into the mask, Madam Lim.  Two counselors and months later, we still don't know what happened to make him run out of the cafe.  He hasn't been to Utoland since."

"And what crisis made him part from the last counselor?"

"A misunderstanding with his teammates and his father.  The counselor shared his teammates' misconception.  He ran away from all of us.  Even his father could not coax him back to walk their beach and talk.  Ken-- Joe managed to bring him back.  We've cleared up as much as we can.  And the responsible parties were reprimanded."

"He--is a very good actor.  The public, and I would dare say Galactor, are not aware of all this tension."

"He can't keep this up, Madam Lim.  And it pains us all to see him like this.  Please, won't you at least take a look at his case."

She looked at the folder placed before her with some trepidation.  "This is the original report he prepared a--a day after his escape?"

Nambu nodded grimly.  "There are some details I've omitted for security reasons."

She picked it up and read it carefully.  The slight tremble in her hands was the only indication of her disquiet.

"There are blackened paragraphs...  Was this by his own hand?"

"Yes.  He--I had to take the report from him before he destroyed it.  He started drawing lines through everything he wrote.

"The third counselor thought that--it would be a good idea if he tried to document it again."  Nambu placed another folder before her.  "To--to try and clinically examine the event.  He was the only counselor who withdrew."

The ancient lady reached for it hesitantly...  She had steeled herself to read it before she opened the folder, but she still couldn't read it to its end.

She threw it away from her and started for the door.  "NO!  I cannot do this anymore, Nambu!  I have not the strength for this any longer!"

Nambu cursed his own stupidity for pressurizing her.  He had totally horrified her with the report.  His alarm grew when he saw her trip at the doorway.

"Madam Lim!"

"Kozaburo?"

Nambu shook himself out of his reverie at her call.  "I--I'm sorry, Madam Lim.  I was--"

"A million miles away."  She smiled at his embarrassment.  "What were you thinking of?"

"The first time I introduced you to Ken."

"You mean, when I fell into his arms?"  Her smile broadened at the memory.  "Tell me Kozaburo, did you *plan* for Gatchaman to arrive in the nick of time?"

Nambu coughed uncomfortably, looking like a boy who was just caught with his hand in the cookie jar.  "I--I hardly expected him to have a need to effect a rescue, Madam Lim."

"But that *is* what he is so good at, isn't he?"  She smiled warmly at him, her brown eyes sparkled with the memory.

Her fall was halted by a pair of firm arms.  In her fright, it took her a moment to comprehend the significance of the blue gloved hands that held her... the red emblem of a phoenix on his chest... pristine white wings...  She looked up in shock at the owner of the arms that caught her, into the bluest pair of eyes she could confess to have ever seen.  Eyes currently filled with concern, but whose depths told her something more...

"Madam?  Are you all right?"

"Gatchaman?"  Nambu was at the door, his eyes a bit wild at the close call.

"I was just coming to see you, Hakase."  Gatchaman righted the venerable old woman and walked her back into Nambu's office.

As he helped her to her seat, Nambu approached with a glass of water, which Gatchaman took from him and pressed gently into her hands.

"You've had a nasty fright, Madam.  Sip this, it will help."

She obediently drank from the glass as she studied the commanding presence beside her.  His youthful appearance did not fit the tempered steel in his eyes.

"I--thank you.  You've... possibly saved my life."

He cocked an eyebrow at her.  "And how do you reason that, Madam?"

"At my age, I might have fractured my hip in that fall.  Then how could I have possibly healed?  It would have killed me to live out my last days as an invalid."

"I am glad that I was at the right place at the right time, then."  He smiled gently at her.

It surprised her to see how much younger he looked when he smiled.

"Ahh, what a charmer you are, Gatchaman.  That smile must melt a thousand hearts."

"Flatterer."  His smile broadened as he squeezed her hand gently.  Then he rose to his feet to turn his attention to Nambu.

Madam Lim could not recall what was actually said in the quiet exchange between the two.  She had stayed silent, sipping the water and quietly observing their interaction.  In person, Gatchaman had a commanding presence.  One that bespoke of strength, indomitable will and even omnipotence.  But underlying all that...

His business with Dr. Nambu did not take long and the Eagle left shortly with a cheery wave to her.

"He is in a great deal of pain, Nambu."

"Your empathy was legendary, Madam Lim.  If you can sense that when most others--"

"Oh, do not doubt that I felt the strength in him as well."  The little lady placed the now empty glass on the table and looked back towards Nambu.  "The pain has been carefully hidden but it still festers.  And it will eat away at him until nothing is left if it is allowed to continue.

"All right, Nambu.  I will help him.  There is not much else for an old woman with that much free time on her hands to do, is there?"  She gave him a wry grin.  "But I will not live on this military base.  Neither will I stay in the city, since it would cause him stress to approach me there.  You earlier mentioned that he has shown some attachment to a beach, so give me a beach house.

"I believe you mentioned the nearest civilian dwelling to be at Utoland.  Find me something there so that I will be close enough for him, yet not too close that he will think I can watch his every move.  That is where I will meet him, Nambu.  Not confined by time or walls, we will meet in the open."

And so it was that they'd meet at an ISO secured beach Nambu chose for them.  They had spent many hours together talking as they walked along the shore, while he visited in her home, and most times she had him helping her in the kitchen or in her small garden.

It had taken her weeks to get him to let down his guard and allow her to help him deal with the extent of his trauma.  And though that fateful day had started out shrouded in pain and madness on his part, he did pull himself away from the yawning pit of psychotic rage to finally take her hand and accept her help.

Madam Lim roused herself from her memories to look at the tired man who still knelt by her side.

"Kozaburo, I retired because I was burnt out from caring too much...  Because I had difficulty keeping the doctor-patient relationship from becoming personal and I did not want to find myself loving another patient more than I had the strength to love myself.  But I do not regret this, Kozaburo, and I will never regret coming here to help him."  She told him gently.  "I would even admit that I have come to love Ken like a grandson.  He has enriched my life.

"Put your guilt away.  We need to turn our energies towards finding Ken.  Whatever happens..."

"I feel--"

"There is little else we can do, is there, Kozaburo?  We can only pray and remind ourselves of Ken's progress and all his small victories.  For our own peace of mind through this crisis, we have to remind ourselves of his strength.

"He will be meeting this pain head-on and I--I believe that it--could make him falter."  She shuddered slightly.  "But only for a moment.  He will survive, Kozaburo.  It--may take him a while to realize this strength, but he *is* a survivor."

You may find the Episode synopses at Alara's Gatchaguru's Page