This fic's beginning is based loosely on Episode 32 - The Gezora Operation (1)  Where Jun and Jinpei, while in their civilian guises, are waylaid by Katse, who is in hir female form.

However, in this piece of fan fiction the Swan and the Swallow did not meet up with Berg Katse.  What if...?

Key:  < ... >  denotes thoughts;   { ... } denotes a flashback

DISCLAIMER: Tatsunoko Productions holds the copyright over all names, likeness and rights of the Kagaku Ninjatai Gatchaman, which has been licensed to Sandy Frank Syndication (Battle of the Planets), Turner Broadcasting (G-Force) and Saban Entertainment (Eagle Riders). All these characters are used without permission, and I'm not profiting from this piece of fan fiction, so please don't sue me.
Forevermore I
Beta read by Lori McDonald
By firewolf
@>;-'-

The first rays of morning gently filtered into the room to warm the sheets.  Katse awoke contentedly, her arms still around her lover.  The memories of their luxurious lovemaking still fresh in her mind...  The fires within her satiated for the time being...

He was still asleep, comfortable in her embrace.  Young... shy... trusting...

Damn her high raging sex drive.  Katse had to wonder what had gone through her partner's mind to be accosted so brazenly.  But her need had screamed louder than her sense of propriety then.

That was always the pattern after s/he underwent the change into the opposite sex.  It was worse, much worse, if the change was triggered when s/he died and resurrected. This change was natural, or at least as natural as hir unique physiology allowed hir to be.  But the mission still came too close after hir transformation.  Fortunately for her current lover, she was over the worst of her urges; her need for savagery spent elsewhere.  That had not always been so, as more than a few former lovers could attest.

This was such a contrast... hir last lover, a little bitch; compared to the one now in her bed, an innocent.  In this day and age, she never thought that such innocence could have existed.

<No, sweet one.  You're not Gatchaman.>

She laughed to herself at the memory of their night together.  How could she have *conceived* that this frightened, shy, virgin was the fearsome Gatchaman?

No... not a virgin anymore.  Her first virgin!  Just as she was his first experience.

A pleasant warmth suffused her as her mind drifted back to the events which lead them to their current position.  Now *that* had to be hir most trying seduction sequence to date.  But... the result... it was like a shy rediscovery of herself... it was--incredible.

And she _had_ been his first.  Perhaps that could excuse his discomfort and shyness.  It was such a contrast to the strong youth who 'saved' her from being mugged the previous afternoon.

Strong, gallant... that was how she described him in her mind when he came to her rescue and sent the 'muggers' scurrying away.  She was so sure she had the right one this time.  There was even that tell tale, pale band on his left wrist where one might expect to find a watch... or a com bracelet.  Katse was so sure that her 'rescuer' was either the Eagle or the Condor.

A slight flush of irritation had swept through her when he first addressed her as 'madam'.  She couldn't have appeared *that* old.  Damn if she'd *ever* wear her hair in a bun again!  But there was little to complain, she was sure then that she had the Eagle.

The Condor struck her as having more tact than to implicate age when addressing an attractive woman.  But would the Condor have cradled her in his arms and carried her to her home when he realized she had twisted her ankle?  Maybe not...  Taking her arm and letting her lean on him for support in walking back, maybe... But to sweep her off her feet without asking her leave?!  The chauvinist!

She could have slapped him for that, if she had not caught the expression in his sapphire blue eyes.  Apprehension... discomfort...  The smile she gave him drew another emotion of disquietude in his eyes.

Katse would be the first to admit that she basked in the power that she realized she could wield over this shy youth.  But Gatchaman?  Could this really be Gatchaman?

She let him tend to her injuries.  Not that he needed to know about her healing speed.  Or that assisted by his attentions, her sprained ankle had already healed well enough for her to walk before he secured the medical tape.  But it gave her the time to study him as he gently massaged her ankle and wrapped it in bandages.  Her thoughts had been in conflict then.

There was strength and confidence in his hands as he gently tended to the minor scrapes and cuts her 'muggers' had inflicted... Even a note of command about him as he directed her servants to bring him the medical chest, cotton swabs and ice for her ankle.  He did not strike her as being moneyed, to be so experienced as to give orders to her servants with such ease. And again when she gave him a smile of thanks, all confidence and strength seemed to melt away, reducing him to a shy, awkward youth.

Damn her high sex drive.  Was her smile so predatory?  Did he think she was sizing him up like a slab of meat?  Was he the one they were after?  Or was this just a waste of time?  Damn... Chase him off and go out again with the 'muggers' or stall him until she's *sure* that he's not the Eagle?

With her injuries tended to, he had tried to leave only to be stayed by her hand on his wrist.  She was sure he would have bolted if given a chance, but she was persistent.  It was an Oscar winning performance for her to persuade him to carry her up the stairs to her bedroom so that she could rest her 'poor' ankle.

He laid her in her bed, and again her hand on his wrist stopped him from leaving.  She had her suspicions.  At any moment she could send out a signal... have her soldiers flood into the room, overpower him before he had a chance to resist--

Oh, f$%k the mission.  F$%k the identities.  Gatchaman or not, she had a need to fill and she wanted him.  She *really* wanted him.  And he knew it... he could probably sense it and it was making him nervous.  Katse could almost smell his... fear?

What nonsense was that?  This couldn't be the effective, self-assured commander.  He was... nervous--scared even to be in such close quarters with her.  The fearless commander of the Kagaku Ninjatai Gatchaman... frightened of her?  She hadn't even drawn a gun or threatened him yet.

Then again... the way he attacked her 'muggers' he could probably more comfortably handle the situation if she *did* draw a gun on him.  Not like lover number nine who wet his pants when she pointed her gun at his head.

He was nervous, skittish even... almost desperate for an excuse to leave without giving offense.  What had she said to him then?  After he had nearly succeeded in getting her to release his wrist?  After he resisted all offers to stay for a meal or even to claim a reward for 'rescuing' her?

"At least accept a small kiss.  Won't you let me give you that small thing?"

What an awkward line?  He didn't want to accept a kiss either, but finally gave in, if only to get her to release his hand.  He offered her a cheek, she took him on the lips and that clinched it.

It was a matter of pride to Katse that s/he was a *hellava* kisser.  Hir numerous lovers had admitted to hir before that a kiss from any of their own, previous lovers paled in comparison to a kiss from hir.  An opinion she *knew* this boy would concur with if asked.  <Oh shit, was he a minor?>

She had stripped him of his shirt and herself of her blouse and bra before he regained enough sense to realize his compromised position.  That was when he stuttered his confession of inexperience.  But *oh*, that made her want him *all the more*.

With her breasts pressed against the firm muscles of his chest, and her voice husky with desire, she asked him to let her be his first... to let her teach him...

Silently, she told herself that it was a ploy.  That it was just an exquisite torture for Gatchaman, if the youth was the one.  What greater devastation was it going to be for Gatchaman to learn that his first sexual experience would be with his greatest enemy, Berg Katse?

It was so easy to rationalize it then.  The truth was... she really didn't believe him to be Gatchaman by then.  It was so totally unlike Gatchaman.  She couldn't picture the white shadow as being so naive and innocent.  She couldn't reconcile the stark white terror which filled those sapphire blue eyes when she pinned him to the bed.

He wasn't entirely convinced just yet, but her kiss conquered him again, and her hands stroked the rest of the tension from his body.  S/he had never handled a virgin before and the thrill of it sent her pulse racing.  All her previous lovers had boasted of experience.  Sometimes they tried so hard to please hir and encourage hir to keep them.  *She* had to do all the work for this one.

At least he was a fast learner.  He responded shyly, at first, content to follow her directions.  His hands and lips caressing her with growing confidence as her body responded to his attention.  The foreplay was almost enough to set her screaming in release, but not yet...  She needed more... she needed to feel him in her and he was ready.

"Wait."

She wanted to scream in his face.  How could such a small word create so much frustration?  She was so hot for him that she was on fire!  How could he have so much self-control?

Her breathing was ragged and her voice was hoarse with her need, but she managed to force the words out.  "What's wrong?"

"I-I-I'm n-not wearing a con-c-condom."

Katse didn't know where she drew her reserves of strength to stop herself from laughing at him.  Such sweet consideration!  What a contrast to hir other lovers, some of whom did pass hir an STD.  S/he had been fortunate that her body's super efficient healing ability and medical science could handle the more noxious bugs.  God help hir if s/he ever encountered HIV.  Not even Sosai was sure if hir immune system could tackle that.

Where she found the strength, she'd never know, but she didn't laugh.  It would have made him bolt for sure.  "Trust me.  I know--my own cycle--and have my own protection."

"Are you su--"

"*Yes*!!"

Ken could feel her eyes on him as he dressed.  A shower, a quick rake of a comb through his hair... He had to leave.

Inwardly, he cursed himself for the distraction.  He couldn't believe... couldn't understand how he had let himself lose control like that.  He was on a mission!  How could he have let himself be distracted...

But he couldn't make himself regret it.  It was nice--hell, it was incredible.  Better than anything Joe boasted of...  Oh, Joe would have a coronary if he saw him now.  She was at least *twice* his age.  Ken sighed to himself.  She must have had much more stimulating lovers than he proved to be last night.  He wondered if he was as pathetic as he thought he was.

"I--suppose you don't ever want to see me--again?"

Her eyes clouded in regret. "I--"

"That's--okay.  For last night--thanks.  It--it was--extraordinary."  He looked towards her one last time before he reached for the door.

"Wait."

A small word... how could such a small word send him spiraling into a maelstrom of hope and confusion?

He watched as she reached for her purse.  <No!  Please!  She's--she's going to try an--and *pay* me?!  I-I-I can't take this-- I have to lea-->

"Wait, please."

Ken hoped that the relief he felt didn't appear plainly on his face.  A card.  She just wanted to give him a... card?

"I--This--isn't where I usually--escape to...  Most weekends--I--I'm--in weekends."

Ken was hardly aware of the hand that reached out to take the card from her pale fingers.  Was that hand really connected to his body?  Did he just unselfconsciously take contact details from her?  Joe would tease him so bad if he ever found out.

They didn't say any more to each other.  He let himself out... the card shoved into his pants pocket and forgotten as he turned his attention back to the mission.  Hopefully, the rest of his team had not had to face any adversity in his absence.

He silently scolded himself again for his indulgence.  <On a mission... I can't believe you did that on a mission...>

Katse mopped listlessly about hir apartment.  Yet another failure!  The Kagaku Ninjatai didn't take the bait, and at the end of the day s/he had lost another Mecha and another base.  And damn! What had s/he been thinking of to let herself take that interlude.

"Stop it.  Stop thinking of work.  You made a deal with Sosai X, weekends are yours to do what you will.  Stop thinking of your damn responsibilities for once."

So, what to do?  What to do?  Cruise the bar scene again?  See if you can pick up a lover for the night?  Maybe you'll be lucky and he'll stay on longer.  Then again, you could be *unlucky* that he wants to stay on longe--

A melodious chime pealed through the house.

<The door bell?  Who--?>

Katse glance out the window and saw him.  He was there... On the steps... The young, shy, lover she had met before that disaster of a mission...

<No!  Push those thoughts aside!  Weekends are mine!  No Galactors, no Sosai!  Weekends are mine to do with as I will.  Spend it with who I want...>

And he stood before her door now.  Still so shy... uncertain...

Was she glad to see him?  Suspicious?  Was it just a coincidence that he... lived in Utoland where s/he kept hir private retreats?

<Why did I come?>  Ken stared up at the number plate on the door in growing confusion and dread.

That little card... Why did it *have* to give an address in Utoland?  Why did fate make it so easy for him to--find her again?  Why was he there now?

<What are you thinking of, Ken?!  Isn't she nearly old enough to be your mother?>

Kuso!  He shouldn't have come.  Shouldn't have kept the card...

The door to the townhouse was flung open and her hand shot out to catch his arm before he could turn away and run.

"Wait."

Again, a small word held him.  Again, he felt his stomach tie itself up in knots.  How could such a small word hold so much power over him?  He had faced danger... stared death in the face... And that small word alone filled him with such fear and dread.

"W-won't you come in?"

Bodies entwined... lips reaching for each other... fingers trailing tendrils of fire down the skin...

Oh gods, she needed this.  The sex... the distraction from the war...  A lover on the side to help her release the tensions...  release the stress...  Oh yes!  Sex *was* a great stress reliever.

Damn the ISO and the Kagaku Ninjatai.  Why did they always come out on top?  No, stop.  Push those thoughts away.  Weekends are yours.  Yours to spend with your young lover.

She needed this...  She needed him...  She needed... what did he say to call him?  Oh yes, 'Mark'.

She gave him a name for herself, Zerelda.  He said it reminded him of a Computer game he once played as a boy, what was it?  Legend of Zelda:  Generation Next.  About a Princess, her champion and her heirs.  She was like *his* Princess.  With her money-or rather the Galactor Empire's money-providing the luxury apartments.

Her wealth made him uncomfortable.  What a difference that was to the money hungry losers s/he picked up over the years!  He refused to take anything from her... He wouldn't even stay for breakfast each Sunday morning.

She should persuade him to extend their trysts...

A knock on his door interrupted Ken's concentration on the latest mission report.

"Ken?" Dr. Nambu opened the door to look in. "Could we--talk?"

"Of course, Hakase?"  Ken waved him to take a seat at his desk.  "I'll be finished with the report within the hour, you didn't have to come to my office."

"I wanted to--catch you before you--disappeared for the rest of the weekend."

Ken couldn't stop himself from blushing slightly.

"I--this--this is awkward.  I know I have no right to intrude in your privacy bu--"

"I'm not doing anything illegal, Hakase.  Just--just a retrea--"

"No, that's not--I mean, of course I trust you, Ken.  I'm--I'm just concerned about--I'm just concerned that--"

"What?"

Nambu groaned as he leaned back his head for a moment and took a deep breath.  "Please don't take this wrong, Ken.  But--isn't she a little ol--"

Ken's eyes flare in anger and his chair crashed behind him as he shot to his feet.  "You've had agents follo--?!"

"I was concerned!  You don't sleep around like Joe--you have hardly any experience--"  Nambu's eyes grew wide as he realized what he had just said.

Ken's face had gone very red and his eyes grew almost luminous in his fury.  But Nambu managed to get his words in first before Ken could start yelling at him.

"Wait--th--tha--that--that's not how it was supposed to sound--"  The doctor waved his hands at Ken in a placating gesture.  "I mean--you--I--she--you--Arragh!"

Ken was almost too flabbergasted to be angry with the man who now sat leaning on his desk with the fingers of his hands pulling at his neatly combed hair.  He couldn't recall ever seeing his mentor so confused and flustered before.

"H--Hakase, she's not paying me to sleep with her.  She's *not* using me as a 'toy boy' if that's what's got you worried.  Or at least it's not all one way.  We have a mutual agreement."

Nambu looked up at him in bewilderment.  "An Agreement?"

"It's a stress reliever for both of us."  Ken rolled his eyes.  "We agreed to break up amicably when we get tired of each other.  No obligations, no pressure, no worries.  I am being responsible about this relationship and I *do* use condoms, you know."

"Oh... I just--if you're sure about what you want out of this--"

"I'm old enoug--"

"It's--something you'll understand when you have children of your own, Ken.  Or if you raise children as if they were your own flesh and blood...  You'll never feel that they're ever--old enough."

A faint smiled pulled on Ken's lips as the last of his anger fully dissipated.  "My eyes are open, Hakase.  I know what I'm getting into."

"That's all I ask, I won't--well... I'll *try* not to intrude again."

Ken snorted in amusement as he set his chair upright and sat down again.  "You sure about that?"

"Indulge an old man sometimes?"  Nambu shrugged guiltily.

"Yeah, I--guess I can."

"Gods!  Damn the ISO!  Damn the Kagaku Ninjatai!"  Katse trembled as he stared at his male features.  "Damn!  Damn!  Damn!  Damn the Condor!  Damn his personal vendetta against all things Galactor!"

The bastard killed hir again--forced her to change into him.  God, he needed sex now.  His hormones were going crazy.  He needed to shove his--

<Mark!  Oh no!  Today's Friday... He'd be over in the morning...>

"I can't let him see me like this.  It's been so good between us.  I can't--I won't be able to deal with it if--if--"

<What the f$%k is the matter with you, Berg Katse?  It's not like you never revealed yourself to your lovers before.>  His face twisted in pain at the memories of the various reactions.  Fear... Horror... Disgust!  And for some... their eyes had gleamed with the opportunity for blackmail.

But no, he couldn't... he didn't want to reveal himself to Mark.  Didn't want to see his face twist into an expression of horror and revulsion for the creature he's been f$%king for the last 8 weeks...

He'd have to dispose of him.  Maybe take that opportunity to have one last use of that sweet ass before he--

NO!!  He couldn't...  Mark was such an innocent... Not like that bitch of a lover--now that was an event to relis--No!  You won't do this to Mark!  Break it up!  If you care so much about him, release him and let him walk free.  No obligations, no pressure...  But... it was so good between them.  He didn't want to lose it.

<Nothing is forever, Berg Katse.>

But you *want* to make this *different*...  What made Mark so different from all hir other lovers?  What made him care so much?!  F$%k him, you need the relief.  What makes him so import--?

<NO!!!  Your left hand can be a friend, Berg Katse.  Don't take it out on Mark.  He doesn't deserve it.  Give him a chance, maybe he'll be that rare one.  Get him used to the idea...

Nothing is foreve--Well, so what?!  I *want* to drag it out as long as I can.  'Forever' is a perception.  Think, Katse!  Think!  You're supposed to be a genius!  You want to keep him, and you don't want him to see and be scared off.  Think of how you can get around this.  Think!>

Ken hesitated in front of the exclusive health club.  He had never walked in by himself before.  He wasn't sure if he really wanted to go through with it.  But the message had been so emphatic.  Zerelda had made sure her messenger intercepted him before he got to her home that morning.  He looked at the letter with the neatly scripted words again.
 
 

Dear Mark, 

I have some meetings to take care of and will be out of town for a few months. 

Check my locker.  I left something there for you to remember me.  I know you don't want to accept anything from me, but please accept it just this once.  When my business meetings are over, I'll rush right back. 

Zerelda

He took a deep breath before he approached the reception where three young ladies manned the counter.

"Mark!  It's unusual to see you coming in alone.  Is Ms. Zerelda meeting you here, then?"  One of the pretty receptionists asked him cheerily.

"No, she's out on business.  Asked me to pick up something she left in her locker."

"She's out?"  Three voices spoke in unison.

Ken could sense himself drawing back slightly, as hunger seemed to flash in the eyes of the three women.

"Aww, you poor thing.  She left you *all* *alone*?"

"A whole weekend *all by yourself*?  You don't have to be home alone, Mark."

"Do you--need any help getting the stuff?  And--maybe a little *company* later?"

"I-I-I'll be just fine."

Ken was out of the health club again in five minutes flat, clutching a small box to his chest.  As soon as he was far away enough to feel 'safe' he gave thought to what he had so easily dismissed in his 'fright.'

He *took* the gift.  But he didn't want to accept anything from her--

<Damn...  What if it was a parting gift?  What if this was her way of saying goodbye?  Payment for your--'services'...

Well, 'Mark' nothing is forever.  It was--enjoyable while it lasted.  If it's something expensive you know she cheris--Jumping to conclusions aren't yo--?>

"Oh, just look and see what she left you, 'Mark.'  If you don't want to accept it, you can always bring it back and leave it in her locker again."

It was a pager.  A message pager.  And there were already three messages from her to him on it.

"What are you *doing* to yourself, Katse?!"  He stormed back into the apartment.  Five bars, he had walked through *five* bars looking for a good f$%k, man or woman, and he walked out alone.  Again!

"Did you let yourself be spoilt by Mark?  What's wrong with you?!"

Gods.  He was ready to explode.  He'd had no relief since he left Utoland...

Katse blinked as he stared at where he had automatically deposited himself.  He was sitting in front of his computer.  The Web page for the message paging service that he had subscribed to was on the desktop.

His hands reached for the keyboard to enter the necessary address fields.
 
 

You're not far from my thoughts, Mark.  Hope I can find a way to return sooner.  Z

Katse looked over the message for a moment before he clicked the button field for 'send'.

"Left high and dry, Bro?"

Ken looked up from the pager at Joe as the man stood over him trying unobtrusively to see what messages he was reviewing.

"Not really."  He gave his second a lopsided grin as he turned his attention back to the most recent message.  "Just wondering how she can concentrate on business when she sends me half a dozen messages a day."

Joe and the others were just about eaten up with curiosity.  It had been *six* weeks since they finally figured out why he disappeared every weekend, two of which he spent gazing lovingly at the little message pager he now held.  *Six weeks* and Ken still managed to evade all their attempts to get him to talk to them about his paramour.

"Ken, you know--not to be so--nosy but... who--?"

A chime from their com bracelets interrupted them.  The Kagaku Ninjatai were needed.

This consistent failure was getting tired.

"BERG KATSE!  WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?  YOUR PERFORMANCE HAS ALWAYS BEEN ABYSMAL, BUT NOW YOU ARE WORSE!"

He winced at the tone.  Sosai X was furious with hir.  Then again, when had Sosai ever been happy with hir.  The creature never ever had a kind word for hir, always demands... "It is nothing, Sosai.  I will perform better--"

"KATSE, YOUR WATCHERS HAVE INFORMED ME THAT YOU HAVE NOT TAKEN A LOVE--"

"WHAT?!  You've been spying on me?!  Weekends are MINE.  We had an understanding!"

"THE UNDERSTANDING WAS THAT YOU WOULD HAVE THOSE DAYS TO RID YOURSELF OF THE WEEK'S TENSIONS.  YOU HAVE NOT HELD UP YOUR END OF THE CONTRACT.  WHY HAVE YOU NOT TAKEN A LOVER?"

"D-didn't feel like it."

"KATSE, YOU ARE WOUND UP TIGHTER THAN A SPRING.  DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.  SOON!"

Ken rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he read over his latest mission report on the computer screen before posting it into the mission log.  Katse had been *awfully* high strung for the last few clashes.  The Galactor leader also spent an uncomfortable amount of time staring at him when he was in bird style.

At any given moment in a battle, Ken could feel a prickle between his shoulder blades that told him that he was being stared at.

<Stop thinking of him!  Katse, stop thinking of him.  You are sex obsessed!>  Katse breathed deeply of his chamomile tea wishing with all his might that the soothing tea would be enough to calm him.  <You are imagining things.  Gatchaman does *not* remind you of Mark.  He does not!  You already ruled that out!>

Mark was far too pliant.  Gatchaman was a leader... a commander... someone who always took charge!  Mark was much too subservient to her demands.  Not once in all those weeks... not once did he ask or even attempt to dominate their trysts.  He was content to do anything she wanted, follow any directions she gave without protest.

A snort of laughter broke from his lips.  Well, almost...  S/he'd never forget that dubious expression and slightly sick look on his face when she suggested oral sex.  Katse shoulders shook in laughter as he remembered his lover's words.

{"But--I--er--piss through that--and you want to take it in your mouth?"}

She educated him, and he was a fast learner in reciprocating.  It was like discovering herself again.  Katse missed him terribly.

A cold hand closed over his heart.  It had been five weeks since he had to leave Mark.  What if he already found another lover?  Would he take her back?  What if all his pain and angst was for naught?  Was Mark even reading those little love messages he sent daily?

"Get off it, Katse!  It's *not* the weekend.  You have your responsibilities to take care of first!  Stop thinking with your dick!"

Ken hesitated before he pressed the doorbell.  He had been worried.  The messages had dried up for three days before a cryptic
 
 

I'm back.  Come now.

appeared that morning.

He wasn't sure what to expect.  Maybe... she found someone else.  Maybe, she was short because she wanted to say goodbye.

<Face up to it like a man, Ken.  Nothing is forever.  If she found someone else...  Stop stalling and ring the bell.>

He looked up hopefully as the door opened.  "Zerel--"

Her hand gripped the front of his shirt and yanked him into the house.

Katse sighed contentedly as she absently twirled a lock of her lover's hair between her fingers.  After the famine... the feast.  The poor lad was lost in exhausted sleep from her demands.  She had the grace to blush over her brazen behavior.  If he hadn't been willing...

It was a mixed blessing, that mission...  He didn't quite get away in time and the injuries were sufficient to send him into a change.  A grin pulled at her lips as she recalled how she had spooked the doctors when she awoke and crowed in exultation at the change.

It had been hard to keep herself away from the computer.  Too many times she found herself starting a message to Mark asking him to 'come now!'  But she had to wait for the weekend.  It was also safer if she held off first.  Her sex drive was so high after her change and after weeks of denial as a man, she was liable to hurt him.

Her arms tightened around her lover protectively.  Sosai had noticed that s/he didn't seek a lover when s/he was a man.  It was going to suspect hir singular devotion to hir current lover.  Would it try to do something about it?  S/he had never allowed anyone to get close to hir... since it killed those few close friends s/he had in university.  S/he hadn't allowed anyone into hir life since.  Only inconsequential lovers... and this one had become more.

"Hmmm?  You're gonna asphyxiate me, Z."

She loosened her grip guiltily and her blush deepened.  She had practically attacked him at the door.  She didn't even give him a chance to talk before she stripped him for sex.  She didn't even ask--if he still wanted to continue their relationship.  She just assumed...

<Nothing is forever, 'Zerelda'.  He's been considerate, if he wants to leave, you *will* let him go.>

"Mark, I--I've--I've used you badly.  You were about to say something to me at the door.  What was it?"

He looked at her as he reached up to gently brush her hair behind her ear.

"Just wanted to say that I missed you."

<Well maybe not forever, but I'll take however long is offered.>  She leaned down to kiss him again.

Ken's pencil tapped the report which had been slipped among his papers.  His face was flushed with anger at his mentor for his intrusiveness, but he couldn't deny the concern which prompted the discrete investigation.

Nambu was concerned.  The ownership of Zerelda's house was deeply buried in red tape and records, but there was still that small indicator of Galactor involvement.

Another niggling observation was getting to him as well.  Just as he was getting used to it, Katse's scrutiny of him had mysteriously ended.   Why--?

<Kuso.>

"What's wrong?"

"Hmmm?  I'm just tired.  Work has been--No, I don't want to think of work."  Katse turned away from him and sighed deeply.  It was the truth, hir performance was little improved since she rejoined her weekend lover.

She almost wanted to snort in laughter.  Gatchaman seemed to notice a slight change in hir.  Or was it reverse jealousy now that s/he wasn't caught staring at him so often anymore.

"Your muscles are still all tensed.  Here--lie on your front and I'll give you a back rub."

He was so good to her.  It was such an escape to be with him.

<Does it matter, Washio?  It's not just the sex.  You like being with her.  It's just an escape.  Your eyes are wide open... right?>

"SO BERG KATSE, HAVE YOU DECIDED ON THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE IN THIS ONE?"

Her heart was in her mouth.  She wasn't quite sure how to react to Sosai's curiosity.  "You've never taken interest in my other lovers before."

"NO, BUT I CAN SEE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN MORE CONTENTED WITH THIS ONE THAN MOST OTHERS.  END YOUR ABSURD ISOLATION.  BRING HIM HERE AND YOU MAY HAVE HIM ANYTIME."

"No!  We had a deal!  Weekends, are mine!  No work, no reminder of Galactor.  He is *outside*.  I need that!"

"YOU WASTE YOUR TIME, KATSE.  WHY WAIT FOR YOUR STRESS TO BUILD--?"

"I need the relief *away* from Gallactor!"

"ALL THINGS WILL BELONG TO GALACTOR, EVENTUALLY."

"I need that island of isolation, Sosai."

"SO.  YOU STILL KEEP US A SECRET FROM HIM?"

Katse winced.  They never talked about what they did during the week.  S/he couldn't even guess how Mark felt about the war or how strongly he felt about support of the various parties.  Knowing the truth... would he still stay with her?  Could s/he be honest with him?

"I want to keep him outside.  Please let me have at least that, Sosai."

"THIS IS FOOLISH."

"I'll take what I can get out of life.  Nothing is forever."

"Ken..."

Ken rested his head on his hand and drummed the fingers of his other hand on his desk as he stared up at his mentor.  "Hakase... What?  So I'm with her longer than any relationship Joe ever had.  I'm not Joe."

"She's still your first!  Are you--I mean--the first one isn't--I--she--"

"I like her.  A lot!  Will you stop being so nosy?"

"Sorry.  It's--why?"  Nambu finally sat down and looked Ken in the eye.  "I'm sorry for being so intrusive, but why?"

Ken sighed, "We have a weird and wonderful relationship...  Can we leave it at that?"

Nambu sorted, "Somehow... I almost expect you to continue that with, 'I'm wonderful, she's weird.'"

Ken choked.  <And you'll have a heart attack if you ever find out how weird.>

<Damn!  So close!  So close to victory this time and Red Impulse had to spoil it all.>  Katse pulled the comb through her hair roughly.  <Damn the ISO!  Damn Gatchaman!  Damn--No.  It's the weekend, you're on your time now.  Forget it!  Forget it all.>

The door bell...  He's here... put on a smile now.  He can help you forget.

Katse gaped to see him.  His eyes were red rimmed, his face splotchy with tears which had been hastily rubbed away.  He looked... terrible.

"Mark, what happened to you... are you all right?"  She pulled him in and seated him in the living room, her own frustrations and gloom over her work forgotten.

"My--father died--yesterday."

"Love, I'm sorr--"

"Don't--lie to me, Katse.  You don't regret anything."

She dropped his hands and stepped away from him.

"Red Impulse.  He is your father?"

"Didn't you know, Katse?"  Ken rose to his feet, his hands clenched into fists.  "Didn't you investigate me before you tried to make me a part of your life?"

"Ga--Gatchaman?"

"Was this just some grand joke to you?!"  He yelled at her.  "You did your research!  Finding Kentaro Washio's son...  fixing it up with Sabu to lure me away... just so you could kill my father?  Well, you didn't get him that time, but he died anyway.  Happy?"

"I didn't know!  What do you want me to say?  That I'm sorry your father died?  Will that mean anything?"

"Nothing!  It'll mean *nothing* to *you*."

"Then I won't say it!  No apologies!  No regrets!  And 'No', I didn't check you out!  I kept that life out of this!  I *didn't want* to know!  I *didn't* *want* that life spilling into this!"

They stared at each other, breathing heavily in the intensity of their confrontation.

<Damn, damn... he's Gatchaman.  He's Gatchaman.  I've been lying to myself for so long... I don't care!  I don't care anymore...>

"How can you shut that life out?"  <But weren't you able to do that too, Ken?  Did--didn't you realize who she was eventually?>

"Escapism.  I'd go crazy if I spent every waking moment with the idiots under my command."

<Escapism.  Knowing you're different...  That you're not the madman I meet on the field...>

Silence fell between them again.

<You have Gatchaman here with you, Katse.  Unarmed, on Galactor property, alone and without the rest of the Kagaku Ninjatai...  You can take him, call in your men!  So what if he kills you.  You just get better.>

<Transform, Ken.  You're in the lion's den without protection.  Activate your bird style.  Activate it and call the team.  You can take Katse.  Hold off his soldiers until the team gets to you.  You are Gatchaman!>

<He is your enemy!  He has caused you countless humiliating defeats.>

<She's a monster.  She destroyed so many lives... she's responsible for the deaths of thousands.  She's responsible for my father's death!>

Neither moved.

"Why aren't you calling your soldiers?"

"I don't know...  You guessed who I was, so why didn't you enter in uniform?"

"I don't know...  We--didn't see each other for over five weeks.  You could have dumped me easily, why didn't you?"

"I didn't want to.  You knew who I was long before you came here today, didn't you?  Why didn't you confront me then?"

"I didn't want to."  Ken groaned and sat on the sofa again.  "This is so messed up."

Katse snorted as she took the seat at the other end of the sofa.  "That is an understatement.  We've just brought the concept of 'sleeping with the enemy' to new heights."

"Nambu and my family will just die."

"My Master will probably blow a fuse."

As one they turned to meet each other's eyes.

"So what do we do now?"

Katse was rocked back slightly.  <He was asking her?  Gatchaman was letting her decide?  He was giving her control?>

Her silence made him get to his feet.  "Scratch that.  Forget I asked... I--I'll just walk out.  We--we can pretend this never happe--"

"No.  I don't want that."  The words left her lips even as her mind screamed at her of the insanity of her intention.  <F$%k Sosai.  F$%k the Kagaku Ninjatai.  I know what I'm happy with and I'm *not* letting anyone get in my way!>

"We--shouldn't--it's not--it's--it's crazy--"

She closed the distance between them, careful to make enough noise so that he'd hear her approach.

"Will you trust me--Ken?"  Her hand reached up to touch his face, turning it gently so that he'd look up to face her.

"We--don't have much of a track record--on trust between us."  His hand closed over her wrist, but he made no attempt to remove her hand from his face.

"Not at work.  But on weekends..."

"Why... forget--can't we just--forget this--?"

"Do you really want to?  Do you really want to give this up?"  She pulled him to her gently, her lips covering his.

Ken didn't try to pull away.  He felt no threat, no danger... just passion and desire.

She felt him responding... felt his arms reach around her.  Non-threateningly, trusting...

She finally broke the kiss and allowed him to realize where she had carried him in the passion of the moment.  They were back on the sofa and she was leaning over him.  She was determined to give him a chance to leave if he really wanted to.  All he needed to do was push her away.

"Berg?  This is crazy..."

"Forget, Ken.  Just two days a week--forget.  We can fight some other time--I don't want to lose this.  I don't want--to give this up."

She felt his gentle pull and that was all the encouragement she needed.

Katse cradled him in her arms much later, just as she always had after their lovemaking.

"This is so messed up."  Ken whispered to her.

"No apologies... no regrets..."  She stroked his hair comfortingly.  "Let the world pass us by on weekends, Ken.  Just two days a week... We're hostage to our masters at all other times, but these two days are ours.  Forget..."

She felt the first drops of his tears on her breasts and drew him closer as he cried.

"Ken..."

"Enough, Hakase."  Ken groaned as his mentor appeared at the door of his office.  "Don't you *ever* want to talk to me about work anymore?  Can we leave my love life out of our conversations?"

"Ken, after your--father--I--I'm responsible--is--it getting--serious?"

"May--maybe.  We've--reached another level...  Hakase!  Look, it *doesn't* impact the Kagaku Ninjatai.  I won't let it.  It's just two days a week of release.  Nothing spills over either way."  Ken shook his head as he regarded his mentor in exasperation.  "Can you loosen those apron strings, 'daddykins'?"

Nambu blushed.

"Ken?  Could you explain something to me?" Katse murmured as they lay together in the dark.

"What?"

"How you're Gatchaman?"

"I thought we agreed not to talk about work?"

"Nothing of the conflict.  But sometimes... I mean... for example, I do wonder, you know, what you think of the uniform I finally settled on as the Galactor leader;  As compared to that Ant headdres--"

Ken's shoulders started to shake in laughter.  "That wasn't your worst, mind you.  You were running through the ranks of the animal and insect kingdoms looking for inspiration, weren't you?"

"Please!  You know I have better taste than that.  Most of that junk was Sosai's inspirations."

"At least you didn't come up with a fish head getup.  But be honest, that 'pirate of the skies' was your design, wasn't it?"

"Guilty as charged.  Blame that on an Anime fetish, I was inspired by 'Captain Harlock.'"

"He wears black, not gray...  Were you actually going to wear an eye patch and a fake scar?"

"Sosai has no sense of humor. He made me wear that skull mask instead, ick!"

Ken chuckled, "We've got used to what you wear now.  But don't think we didn't laugh at those bat ears.  Do you have microphones in those things?"

"Of course!  It'd be a shame if I didn't make it functional in some way."

"Rephrase your question, Berg.  What were you asking?" Ken sighed as he absently played with the strands of her hair.

"You are a commander... a leader... so--why do you never ask for a chance to be--dominant in our trysts?"

Ken looked up at her thoughtfully.  "Berg, it's not important to me.  I don't need to be dominant or feel that I must be the controller.  I'm perfectly happy following someone with more experience."

"But you're--How can you--"

"-be Gatchaman?  It's a responsibility, that's all."  Ken turned away to stare at the ceiling.  "It's not like I have any great ambition to lead.  I lead because I must.  There's no one else qualified, who can take this role or this responsibility.  I was trained for this, but I never asked to be Gatchaman, Berg.  I never asked for this responsibility.  And I can't give it up either... I can't give it up..."

Katse reached over to stroke his face and turn him back to look at her.  "I'm sorry I asked... and reminded you of work again."

"It got--forget... we promised... just forget it."

She slid closer to lean over him and kiss him.

"WELL, BERG KATSE, THIS LOVER APPEARS TO AGREE WITH YOU.  HAVE YOU CONSIDERED MY SUGGESTION TO TAKE HIM INTO THE EMPIRE?"

"I don't want him in here, Sosai.  It's important to me that he is outside of Galactor."  Katse tried to keep the tremble out of her voice.  She couldn't believe she was actually doing it... she couldn't believe she was keeping secrets from it.

"AND HOW CAN YOU PROTECT HIM THEN?  OR HAVEN'T YOU TOLD HIM YET WHO YOU ARE?  DOES HE KNOW OF YOUR TRUE NATURE?"

"No... Sosai, *please* stay out of my affairs!"

"IT IS MY CONCERN WHENEVER YOU ENCOUNTER REJECTION.  YOUR PERFORMANCE IS DRAGGED TO NEW LOWS.  CONFRONT YOUR LOVER OR LEAVE HIM KATSE.  I WILL NOT HAVE YOU DRAGGING YOUR FEET WHENEVER YOU ARE IN YOUR MALE FORM.  CONFRONT HIM NOW!"

A beam of light engulfed her.

"Wait!  Sosai!  No!  NOOOO!!!"

He stared at his reflection in the mirror.

<Oh God. Oh God.  Oh God!  Damn you Sosai!  Damn you!!>

They hadn't had a chance to talk yet.  It was still too tentative a relationship now that all other secrets were exposed.  S/he *was* going to tell Ken.  S/he really *was.*  But when s/he was ready, after s/he sounded him out and prepared him for the shock.  He was such an innocent sometimes...  He would just recoi--

<No, please.  I can't do this.  I can't go through with this.>

"Berg?!  You--didn't answer your door... I--let myself in."

Katse swung around at the sound of the voice.  There was an uncertainty in his timbre, even a slight apprehensiveness.

Sosai X just forced his hand.  Katse wasn't going to stand by and see their new relationship dashed to the ground.  This new honesty between them... a gentle teasing of stupid decisions of the previous week... S/he cherished every minute of it.  He wasn't just a lover... they had become friends.  Someone s/he could let hir guard down around.  Someone s/he trusted.  Against all odds, they trusted each other... on weekends.

<Then isn't it time I told him the truth of myself.  Tru--trust that--that he'll accept me for--for what I am?>

"Ken--I'm coming down."  He pulled the robe around him.  "I didn't hear you.  Sorry, I was in another world."

"Are we getting ahead of ourselves again?"  Ken arched an eyebrow at the robe, blue sapphire eyes twinkled at him as he descended the stairs.

<Oh God, wait!  He knows what he can do to me with that look.  Wait.  Wait!>  Katse kept a hand in front of him to hide his response.  In his worry about Ken's reaction to his dual nature, he had almost forgotten about his own physical needs.  Well... his body didn't and he was more dangerous to his lover now than at any other moment.

"K--Ken, we have to talk--there's something I have to be honest with you about... something I haven't told you yet."

Ken's eyes narrowed as he studied Katse.  "Are you all right?  You're looking strained."

"Ken--don't come closer... for your own safety.  Please stay your distance."  Katse gritted, his body was screaming at him.  He forgot!  How could he forget?!  He was out of control so close to a change.  He *didn't* want to hurt Ken.  But his was liable to now.  Just like he did that last lover...

"Berg?  You're in pain.  What happened?  I don't remember any of my team hit--"

"It wasn't.  It's my own--Ken.  I go through--changes.  I told you--that I was a mutant."

"Yes?  And I said that it didn't bother me.  What I wouldn't give to have an accelerated healing rate--"  Ken tried to approach him again.

Katse kept the sofa between them.  "I--didn't tell you everything about it."

"But you're going to tell me now."  Ken frowned again as he took a closer scrutiny of Katse.  "Your features are slightly--"

"More than that."  Katse dropped the robe.

Ken's jaw dropped and his eyes grew as large as saucers.  A blush crept over his cheeks as well which made Katse look down at himself and belated try and hide his erection.

It took a couple of coughs for Ken to get his voice back.  "Well... that answers a few niggling questions I had."

"What?"

"I--guessed as much.  We always thought you were male.  It threw me for a loop when I knew you were female.  But--there were a lot of other things that just didn't fall into place."  His expression turned thoughtful.  "Then... there was also that long period when you didn't want to see me?  I guess, I--understand why now."

"Huh?  Ken, are you blind?!  I'm--!"

"-a man.  So what?"

Katse had to turn away.  His mind was in turmoil.  He was too stunned to say anymore. He was almost completely unaware of Ken's approach until a hand gripped his chin and pulled his face down to meet a pair of lips.

His body took over, his arms moving of its own volition to wrap around the firm youthful body and crush it against his chest.  He felt a pair of arms wrap around his neck, pulling his face closer... the lips half opening to him in invitation.  Katse didn't need any further encouragement to plunder the depths.

But even in his lust, Katse felt the tremble in his lover's frame.  The slight quiver against his lips as his manhood throbbed painfully between them.  He forcefully broke off his devouring kiss to look into the sapphire blue eyes.  Apprehension... there was anxiety in those sapphire blue depths.

"Ken--"

"You're not any different."  Ken cut him off to smile at him encouragingly.  "We became more than lovers over the last couple of months.  We also became friends.  Why should that change with your change in sex?"

Katse groaned, "Ken, please don't do this to me.  I need--I can't just be a friend--I--"  He pushed Ken away from him.  "Go!  Please go.  I can't hold--"

"Go?  What do you need, Berg?  Tell me!  You're in pain.  What do you need from me?"

"You can't give me what I need!"

"Why not?!"

"Damn it, Ken.  You don't understand!  I need sex now!  Every time I go through a change my hormones go crazy.  I need to f$%k something--f$%k someone to relieve the strain!  Are you too dense to understand this?  I don't want to be *just a friend*!  I need that physical relationship as a man just as much as I need it as a woman!  I *need* sex!

Go away, Ken!  Go!  I'm *dangerous* like this!  I don't want to hurt you!  I need to f$%k something and if you don't leave now, I won't be able to control myself!  Go!  Go away!"  Katse's face was red with the strain as he faced Ken.  He could feel the despair build within him as the youth made no attempt to move.

Katse held up his hand with his index finger and thumb grasped an inch apart, his voice was hoarse as he managed to croak out his last warning.  "Go, please.  I am this close to throwing you on the sofa and taking you then and there.  All I want to do is hold you down and slam myself into your tight little ass!"

"What if I said 'okay'?"

Katse started to choke as he reeled backwards in shock.  Ken closed the distance between them again and helpfully pounded him on his back as he coughed.

"Wh--why?"  Katse managed to wheeze out.

"Why not?"

"Ken--you're not gay."

"Are you?  Do you keep your coupling strictly hetero, or don't you do others as well?"  Ken turned Katse towards him.  "Look at me.  Berg, look at me.  You have a need.  It's driving you crazy.  I've seen you like this before, remember.  I don't want to see you go through that pain alone again.  If I can help you fill this need, please let me."

"But--you've never--"

"So, you'll be my first experience with a man.  Just as you were my first experience with a woman."

"You can't--"

"I trust you, Berg.   I'll also be jealous as all get out if you find someone else to sleep with when you're not female."

"That time...?  I didn't."

"Not at all?"

"You spoilt me.  Or don't you remember the wild time we had when that famine was over."

Ken blushed.  "I--I'm saying 'yes', Berg.  You don't have to go to someone else."

"Are you sure?"

Ken grinned as he moved to pick Katse up in his arms and start towards the stairs.  "Nervous as a virgin, but yes, I'm sure."

Katse started to grin, remembering fondly that first time when Ken had carried him up a different flight of stairs.  "You--you're going to be *that* difficult again, aren't you?"

"I--" Ken swallowed nervously.  "I'll--I'll try not to be--"

"Ken, don't--Don't make yourself do something--"

"Berg, I want to do this...  Look, I trust you.  And could be--I'm even--curious about this kind of contact too."  He gave him a lopsided grin.  "Who knows--I--I might--enjoy it as much."

Katse reached up to touch his face gently as he rested comfortably in Ken's arms.  He started to chuckle lightly.

"What's so funny?"

"I--was so afraid you'd--"

"After what we've been through together?  You kiss the same... you taste the same... you feel the same...  well, most of you anyway."

Katse snorted at this.  "I *am* the same person."

"I know that."

"Thank you."

Katse snuggled comfortably in his lover's embrace.  He still couldn't entirely believe it.  This time it *was* going to be different.  Despite all their differences... he had found someone who could accept him...

Maybe _some_ things could be forever.  Maybe... this could even be... forevermore...

End...
To be continued in Forevermore II ...

Thanks for reading.
firewolf, October 1998

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