The apparition that was Sosai X, cast a baleful eye at its nervous prodigy as s/he shuffled into its presence.

#What new failure have you to report to me now, Berg Katse?#

Katse flushed at its statement.  "I haven't even started my report!  Why do you immediately assume I'm going to report something unpleasant?"

#Katse, I have been observing you humans for well over fifty years.  If you were going to tell me of a success, you would be gloating.#

"Oh, right."

#Get on with it.  I ordered you to set up a desert base.  What went wrong?#

"We found the perfect spot, Sosai sama.  We really did.  Except..."

#Yes?#

"There was a pest on site, one of the local fauna.  Our soldiers are already jumpy enough about the Kagaku Ninjatai Gatchaman swooping in and discovering our activities.  This pest seemed to delight in disrupting our work by startling them at inappropriate moments. "

#Catch it and get rid of it!#

"That wasn't as simple as we thought it would be.  For one, that pest moves very quickly, it's almost impossible to shoot or grab a hold of.  The men tried."

#You sound puzzled.#

"Er-- there have been rather strange physical phenomena surrounding us through this whole debacle, Sosai."

#Berg Katse, do I have to drag every word out of you?!#

"No!  No!  I'll talk, I'll talk!  I just don't think you'll believe half of what I'll say."

#Like?#

"Well... the men did try to shoot the creature, but--more often then not, they ended up shooting each other."

#How many men did you lose?#

"None.  I checked their guns myself, Sosai.  They were all at settings ranging from 'stun' to 'kill,' but all it did was leave the men covered in black soot."

#Blac-- Never mind, continue.#

"We couldn't shoot it and it was moving too fast for us to catch it, so we tried to trap it.  It was really a very good trap, Sosai.  You see, we observed that the creature was quite fond of travelling on roads when possible, so we devised a Roadwall that could be hidden in a slot in the road until activated.  The men were to chase the pest down the road and just before it reached the slot, we'd activate the Roadwall and the pest would run straight into it."

#The creature managed to avoid it?#

"No."  Katse shuffled hir feet as s/he looked down in embarrassment.  "The wall never came up.  Something jammed.  A couple of the soldiers even tried jumping up and down on it, but nothing worked.  I left one fellow with the remote and some tools to try to get it to work.  The rest of us carried on.

"I designed a different trap.  This was something that we could push off a ledge onto the creature.  It was truly an ingenious trap!  I even timed it all to a fraction of a second.  You see, as the creature approached, the men were to push the trap off the ledge and I timed it so that the trap would intercept the pest, scoop it up and entangle it in a net."

#The trap didn't work?#

"Oh no, it worked rather well.  Unfortunately, the ledge the men were waiting on... broke.  So the whole thing fell over before the pest was even in position.  But it did work!  One of the men accidentally triggered it as they were falling and the device did perform as planned to scoop them all in the net."

#So didn't you pack it up to use it on the creature later?#

"Er... no, it broke.  Er-- remember the ledge that had broken under them?  You see, on the way down the men passed the ledge and somehow got under it.  The rock pounded them and my device quite firmly into the ground."

#Casualties?#

"None.  We dug them out and they were still alive, though they were bouncing slightly and we *all* could hear a slight accordion-like tune when they walked."

#I am afraid to ask what you did next.#

"We were getting serious, Sosai.  This time we were going to just trick it and let gravity to its job.  We located a section of the road that was closed because of a collapsed segment and we painted a giant canvas in front of it of a road that was complete.

"The men were ready with motorcycles this time.  They chased the pest to the canvas and we really did think we had it... until it ran *into* the canvas.

"Er... the soldiers were too shocked to stop and went straight into the canvas too.  But *they* went over the cliff."

#Casualties?#

"None.  There was only a small puff of smoke when they landed.  They looked perfectly okay as they climbed out of the man-shaped holes in the ground when we ran down to checked on them.

"We tried one more chase.  This time, we called a commercial house to provide us gadgets.  I found this wonderful item, rocket powered roller skates with built in cliff-avoid.  I wasn't going to risk my men with those cliffs again."

#What went wrong?#

Katse could only snort in frustration.  "Remember that first trap?"

#The Roadwall?#

"Well, it decided to work just after the pest ran by its station.  The soldiers following it weren't so lucky. They threw that unfortunate fellow with the remote controls over the nearest cliff."

#Still no casualties?#

"No casualties.  The soldiers were thoroughly fed up, so they decided to lie in wait for that pest instead of chasing it.  I have to admit that I wouldn't have blamed them for mistaking that truck they got run down by, with the distinct sounds the pest has been disturbing us with."

#Again no casualties?#

"No casualties.  It was the last straw though.  So I gave the men birdseed and enough explosives to blow that beast clear through the earth to China."

#And?#

"Our--er--China office reported the appearance of fifteen soot covered soldiers at their base."

#That is not physically possible!#

"Remember what I said about strange phenomena?  Anyway...  I--er--I'm afraid we had to abandon our plans for that desert base, Sosai.  That explosion caused enough disturbance to attract the attention of the Kagaku Ninjatai."

#Don't ever remind me of this again, Berg Katse.#

"Thank you, Sosai."

"Hakase?"  Ken knocked on the door to Dr. Nambu's office before entering.  "I thought I shou--"

Ken gaped at his mentor who lay stunned on the floor of his office with bits of plaster surrounding him.

"Hakase!  Are you all right?"  Ken rushed to his side and helped him to his chair.  "What happened?"

"I'm fine, really!  Just slightly dazed, nothing to worry about."

Ken stared at the ceiling as flakes of residual plaster still dropped off.  "How did you manage that?"

"I--I'm not sure.  I--I was about to sit down when I was--startled by a loud sound."  Nambu shook his head.  "I thought there was a truck in the room with me, but of course that--that's nonsense."

Ken grin was forced but Nambu wasn't looking his way.  "Er-- I--I'll leave you alone for some quiet, Hakase.  We--we can talk later."

Ken exited the room as quickly as he could, only to come face to face with a soot covered Joe who was also looking more than a little black in the face as well.

"Where--is--it?"  The Condor snarled between clenched teeth as he hefted a cannon large enough to dwarf Jinpei and swung it around threateningly.

"Joe, calm down."  Ken lightly brushed the soot off his second in command's bird style.  "I'll tell Jinpei he has to take it back to where he found it.  Let's not start World War IV on Crescent Coral, okay?"