This fic has a Hanky Alert! On Friday, I'll be on my way to Sydney for a family reunion, the first one that my immediate family has been able to arrange in ten years.  There is someone who we'll miss very much when we get together...  So, I'm feeling melancholy.  Mix it with a little music and...
DISCLAIMER: Tatsunoko Productions holds the copyright over all names, likeness and rights of the Kagaku Ninjatai Gatchaman, which has been licensed to Sandy Frank Syndication (Battle of the Planets), Turner Broadcasting (G-Force) and Saban Entertainment (Eagle Riders).  Gambit and the New Orleans thieves guild belong to Marvel Comics.    All these characters are used without permission, and I'm not profiting from this piece of fan fiction.
I Wish I Could
By firewolf
December 1998 Beta Read by Lori McDonald
@>;-'-

Kentaro closed his eyes as he laid the report on his desk.  Sayuri hugged him fiercely from behind.

"Must you?"

He leaned back against her, even as the timbre in her voice tore into his heart.

"Love, I--I must.  We--we've had--"

"It won't be the same--apart, will it?" she interrupted him, saving him the awkwardness of trying to explain.

Her indirect confirmation that she would not follow him brought some comfort.  However, it did not halt the growing emptiness within him to realize that he would soon be alone again.  That for the first time in ten years, she would not be by his side, sharing in the danger and the exhilaration of shared missions.

"I wish..."

"Shh, I know."  She turned towards the window slightly.

Outside, the sky was already beginning to turn orange and purple with the setting sun.  But the couple were not as concerned with the approach of the night as they were with the one who was outside.

Sayuri drew Kentaro to his feet and together they approached the window to look into the garden.  Kentaro drew in his breath sharply even as the strains of an old song drifted through his head.

Looking out my window
See you playing in the leaves
It's amazing how a little boy
Means all the world to me
When I tell you that I love you
I love you more than words can say
"Will we have one last picture--Kentaro?"  Sayuri leaned her head on his shoulder, interrupting his train of thought.

"I--I would like that."

The little boy squealed in excitement to see his parents emerge from the house with a camera.

"Sosen!  Take a picture with me!  Sosen!"  The little brown haired boy threw his armload of leaves in the air before he turned to run towards them.

Kentaro's breath caught in his throat to see the gentle rain of red and gold leaves as they fell around his son.  Sayuri's steadying hand stopped her husband from dropping the camera.  Today, she was his pillar and his strength, her small frame keeping his much larger bulk from falling over.  If he could feel any humor with the situation, Kentaro would have laughed at such an incongruous image.

Smile, say cheese pretty-please
I wanna take your picture
How'd you ever get so big
I gotta take your picture
Hold on to the memory before the whole thing slips away
"Sosen!  Nambu Hakase is here!  Ask him to take a picture of all of us?  Will you ask him?"

Kentaro turned to stare at his oldest friend in surprise.  He hadn't even noticed the sound of the car approaching.

"Kentaro... I thought--I heard--"

"Kozaburo--" Kentaro awkwardly handed him the camera.  "Would you--?"

"Of course."

Kentaro turned towards his son mischievously.  "Now come here, you!"

The boy laughed and giggled as his father caught him and began to tickle him.  Nambu took as many photographs as the film allowed, but something made him hold back one last shot.

I wish I could save these moments
Put 'em in a jar
I wish I could stop the world from turning
Keep things just the way they are
I wish I could shelter you from everything
Not pure and sweet and good
I know I can't, I know I can't
But I wish I could
They ended their play in the usual way, with Kentaro carrying his son high into the air and pretending to be his personal jet.

"Higher!  Sosen!  Higher!"

"Huff, your father's getting old, son.  You have too much energy for him."  Kentaro started to lower him down regretfully.

The boy pulled at the shoulder of his father's shirt, reluctant to be placed back on the ground. "Awww!  Just a little while longer?  Sosen?  Please?"

"Ken, it's getting dark."  Sayuri slid an arm around her husband's shoulders as she reached up to caress her son's face with her free hand.

The little boy pouted, though he accepted his mother's final say in the matter.

"I have one last shot on the camera, folks."

"Come on, Ken."  Kentaro tickled him again and held Ken above his head.  "Behave and pose for Nambu Hakase."

When you kiss me for no reason
It goes straight to my heart
When I feel your arms around me
I almost fall apart
It's time for bed you whisper
Daddy, we forgot to pray
Kentaro released his son from the fierce hug.  "Ooof, you're growing stronger each day, son."

"When I grow up, I wanna be just like you, Sosen."  The little boy told him seriously as his father tucked him into bed.

"Really?  You may want to do something else with your life, so--"

"No!  I wanna be just like you.  I'll be an ace fighter pilot.  And I'll protect the whole world from the enemy.   Just like you!"

Kentaro didn't trust himself to speak as he stroked his son's hair.  "Good night, Ken.  I love you."

"I love you, Sosen."

Kentaro kissed his son on the forehead before he left the bedroom.

He found Nambu helping his wife with the dishes in the kitchen.  Nambu wiped his hands on the dishtowel before turning towards him.

"You could say 'no'."

"You know I can't."

Nambu nodded and looked towards Sayuri before turning back to him.  "I--I'll help Sayuri watch over Ken.  I'll make sure your family is well taken care of, Kentaro."

"Thank you, my friend."

"You would do the same for me."  Nambu quickly started towards the living room.  "I'll let myself out.  I--I'm sure you want some privacy..."

They didn't wait for the front door to slam before they were in each other's arms.

"Sayuri... I love you.  I love both of you.  Please forgive--" He breathed into her golden brown hair, conscious that this would possibly be the last time he'd hug his wife.

"Kentaro--I understand."  Her breath tickled his ear.  "Be careful, promise me that--you'll be careful..."

"Sosen?  Haha?"

"Ken?  Why aren't you asleep?"  They turned guiltily towards the little boy who stood in stockinged feet at the kitchen door.

"I-I-I don't know.  Sosen, I have a bad feeling."

"Come here."  Kentaro bent slightly towards him.

The little boy ran straight into his arms to share in a three-way hug.

"Everything will be all right."

Kentaro thought that his tongue deserved to turn black for this lie to his son.  But he could not tell Ken the truth.  No one had yet given voice to the situation that would see him apart from his family for years... if not a decade.

The chorus of the song played in his head one last time as he hugged his family to him... for the last time.

I wish I could save these moments
Put 'em in a jar
I wish I could stop the world from turning
Keep things just the way they are
I wish I could shelter you from everything
Not pure and sweet and good
I know I can't, I know I can't
But I wish I could
"I love you."  Kentaro could no longer hold back his tears.  "I love you."

The End

"I Wish I Could" is Copyrighted by Collin Raye, from his Album 'The Walls Came Down.'  I make no claims to it.  I made a one word change to the song, I changed the appearance of 'girl' to 'boy'.

Dedicated to the memory of my father, who passed away five years before the birth of his first grandchild; my niece, Meredith Soh, who will be the center of attention during this coming family reunion.  Papa, you will always be missed.

Thanks for reading.
Warmest Regards,
firewolf

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