DISCLAIMER:
The characters in Merlin
(BBC) belong to Shine
Television and the BBC, etc., i.e., not me.
I'm just borrowing them for a
while to spin a tale
Keep
the Magic Secret
By firewolf
March 2009
@>;-'-
“The entire camp? Are you
sure?” Uther locked eyes with the reporting knight firmly.
Sir Kay gulped at the fierce scrutiny, but he did not fumble in his
certainty. “When we realized the silence was unnatural, we entered the
camp to investigate, my lord.
“Our—what was left of our men had been left to the elements, but every
man and boy of the barbarian camp—lay dead—burnt to a crisp. It—the
camp was left quite intact. None had dared approach the encampment to
loot it for fear of—the sorcerer who decimated it.”
Uther came to his feet and moved to the window which overlooked the
courtyard. As luck would have it, he was at the window in time to watch
his son and his manservant returning from a ride to the woods. Uther
couldn’t help the soft sigh of relief which escaped his lips to see his
son starting to smile again. However, the manservant was another matter
altogether.
‘Sorcerer.’ The thought flared in red hot fury. But strangely, Uther
didn’t find himself reacting immediately. Instead, other thoughts and
memories smothered the fear and hate he had always carried in his heart
since Igraine was untimely taken from him.
‘Merlin.’ This manservant of Arthur’s… Uther wasn’t blind. Now that the
veil of secrets had been lifted, he was not so ungrateful that he’d
fail to acknowledge the truth. If it weren’t for Merlin, Uther knew
that he would have lost Arthur months earlier.
He had guessed the truth when Arthur’s life was saved from the poison
of the Questing Beast. He didn’t want to look too closely at the
miracle then. Hadn’t wanted to recognise the thrum of magic, nor think
too deeply about the ‘tincture’ Gaius miraculously produced. Hadn’t
wanted to think too hard regarding the manservant’s absence and sudden
presence again when he helped Gaius feed Arthur the—antidote…
Uther’s own manservant had told him that he overheard Morgana’s
handmaiden worrying about Merlin’s mother’s sudden appearance and her
illness. Not a day later, first Gaius and then Merlin disappeared. And
both returned nearly two days later, soaked to the skin and looking
quite worse for wear.
Something of import had taken place, on that Uther was willing to stake
his crown. But nothing else had been said. Nothing else came from those
puzzling days. Arthur’s manservant suddenly became almost a model
servant, dutifully taking care of all his master’s needs and
attentively nursing his son through the lingering weakness.
A sorcerer… But the boy was an idiot. Uther just couldn’t wrap his mind
around the idea that—Merlin—could be dangerous. And yet—
‘Burnt to a crisp.’ Sir Kay was not a man given to exaggeration. An
entire barbarian war camp of over fifty men… This boy
killed—slaughtered an entire camp—and saved Arthur. Again.
He remembered his son lying on his bed, expression strained, his
countenance bloodied and bruised, wearing clothes that were not his
own. Arthur had denied any mistreatment of his person, but his refusal
to allow Gaius to attend him was damning enough.
Uther was under no illusions that he could have mounted a rescue so
quickly. Merlin—because he had refused to await the investigation of
his master’s delayed return, had gone looking for his Prince. If he had
not… Uther knew the boy clearly spared Arthur from further abuse. And
Arthur would accept comfort and assistance from no one else.
Uther was not an ungrateful man. “You will say nothing of what you and
the other men found.”
“Sire?”
“There was a service done to your Prince that day. We are not
ungrateful.”
“Of course, Sire.” As much as Sir Kay tried to hide it, Uther could see
that the Knight had brightened considerably at his words.
Uther wondered why he wasn’t angrier. Surely, this exchange implied
that the knights were quite observant. That Arthur’s manservant may not
have been secretive enough and even his own knights wanted to protect
the boy from the King’s wrath. Uther had known that the knights started
to show a bit of deference to Arthur’s manservant after the incident
with Mercia, when Merlin drank from a poisoned chalice for Arthur. It
seemed to Uther that the boy was regarded almost fondly; like a pet or
a mascot of the knights of Camelot.
But were the actions of the knights truly treasonous when Arthur’s
manservant was so clearly devoted and loyal to his master; when he,
like many if not all of Arthur’s knights, would give his life to ensure
the Prince’s continued health and survival? If Uther was to be honest
about it, he could—understand why the knights might choose to protect
the sorcerer in their midst, especially if this would preserve the life
of their Prince.
Uther couldn’t feel any heat in himself to be angry with Merlin. He
just found himself bewildered. He still couldn’t get over how Arthur’s
manservant knowingly drank poison for him. The boy was an idiot. It
really was a wonder that he had survived this long in Camelot when the
King actively persecuted and killed all magic users.
*~*
The realisation that he was knowingly harbouring and accepting a
sorcerer in his castle, did not allow Uther a restful night. He found
himself climbing the stairs to the battlements hoping that a little
stargazing might help him settle the roiling thoughts that kept him
awake. The last thing Uther expected was to see the source of his
disquiet huddled against a wall. And… Uther was quite shocked to
recognise the quiet sounds of crying.
He remembered then the sight of the boy’s face of late, his expression
of sombre and blank nothingness. Unusual because Arthur’s manservant
was quite well known to be a cheerful lad, and a strange one who would
even have smiles for his tormenters when he landed in the stocks.
Then a memory of Gaius’ words came to him. “Merlin is no warrior. He’s
never been trained to kill and to cope with the aftermath.”
This made Uther remember Sir Kay’s report. “Every man and boy lay dead,
burnt to a crisp.”
An entire barbarian war camp—slaughtered. Yet Uther could not feel
afraid of this wretched figure huddled against the walls.
Letting out a resigned sigh, Uther walked over to the boy and sat
beside him. Merlin didn’t react to his presence, evidently oblivious to
his surroundings. Truly, the boy's survival instincts were abysmal.
Eventually, Merlin realised he was not alone and startled quite
violently when he saw it was the King sitting beside him. “My Lord.”
“Stay.” Uther’s hand on his shoulder kept Merlin from standing.
For a time, they sat in almost companionable silence as Merlin
self-consciously wiped his face clean of tears. “It is never easy to
choose to take a life.” Uther started softly. “Most times it boils down
to choosing one goal above another; one life for another; the lives of
several in exchange for the safety of the whole Kingdom.
“Several lives—for the life of your Prince…”
He left it at that. If Merlin wanted to talk—Uther thought he owed that
much to the boy, especially since he obviously hadn’t spoken to Gaius
or Arthur.
“I—didn’t know he was still alive when I found the camp. I—I just saw
the—bodies and—the heads on pikes.” Merlin said softly at last.
“You struck in anger and fear.” Uther nodded in understanding when he
saw the boy flinch. “That does not make you a monster.”
“I—” Merlin stared up at him in surprise.
“You did your Kingdom a service in dealing with these barbarians, boy.
They had looted, killed and raped across our neighbour’s lands for
nearly a year before they came to ours. Before—before
Arthur—encountered them.”
“You don’t understand—I—I killed them all! Even the boys. And when I
first found Arthur, I had wished I had—that I had done so more
painfully. I—”
Uther grabbed Merlin’s hand to stay his words. He could feel the bile
rising in his throat as he remembered how his son had looked when they
first returned. He remembered the strange clothes his son had returned
in; remembered the horror he had felt to know that his son had been
stripped naked by the barbarians. He remembered noticing the blood on
his son’s breeches... Uther knew he would not have been merciful if any
of the barbarians had survived Merlin’s slaughter. The boy, however—
“You would not have taken satisfaction or entertainment from torture,
Merlin.” Uther told him firmly. “I think even I know you well enough to
say this.
“The real monsters are the ones you killed. They deserve no more
thoughts than the Questing Beast you helped Arthur to slay.”
Merlin’s eyes went very wide in sudden fear, but Uther’s firm grip kept
him in place. “I am not ungrateful, Merlin. And I am neither blind nor
arrogant enough to ignore the service you have given my family.
“You have always protected my son.”
Merlin nodded numbly at his words, allowing Uther to continue. “Given a
choice, you will continue to do so. And you will kill for him again.”
Uther expected the flinch at the word ‘kill’, but Merlin simply gave a
slow nod after he thought about his statement. “Y—yes. If it was to
save Arthur—if he asked me to, I would—I would kill as many men as—as I
did that day in his service.”
“And more.” The boy paled at his words, but he still nodded as his gaze
met Uther’s letting the King see the flicker of realisation and
acceptance in the sorcerer’s eyes.
“What you did using your—powers, Merlin, was not immoral. Your—magic
did not make you evil.” Uther told him solemnly, as he too realised
this was a fact he now recognised and acknowledged too.
“I know my son enough that I had that barbarian camp investigated. I’ve
seen the bodies that Sir Kay recovered. Whether the mutilation and
abuse was inflicted alive or dead... They were the monsters.
“You are nothing like them. You protect your Prince out of love.”
“Your Majesty…”
“Arthur—needs you to be strong—for him. Not filled with doubts or
insecurities,” Uther told him firmly. “He will not accept help from any
other…”
“I would walk to the ends of the earth for him.”
“Then do so—with my blessing.”
“Your Majesty…”
Uther studied Merlin’s gaze for a beat before he released his hands.
“Go on then. Take care of my son.”
Merlin scrambled back on his feet to leave. However, Uther had one last
bit of parting advice.
“Merlin, the law—” For a moment, Uther squeezed his eyes shut in pain
in memory of his lost love. “In time, I’m sure Arthur will repeal it. I
can—will not. What was done…”
“N—Nimueh’s dead.” Uther looked up at Merlin in shock. “I—she—I—traded
her life—for Arthur’s.”
Uther shuddered as he looked away. “But even her death does not change
the past, nor ease the—betrayal.”
“Sire…”
“Keep the magic secret, Merlin.”
“I—Y—yes, Sire.”
Usher looked out over the battlements as the sound of footsteps faded
behind him. ‘Sorcerer…’ the fury laden cry in his mind resounded again.
But it did not overwhelm his senses and judgement as it used to in the
past. No, Uther knew he could not react in such a way to Arthur’s
manservant. Not when the boy clearly feared himself more than anyone
would ever fear him. Whatever could be said of Merlin, he always meant
well. And he cared for others far more than he cared for himself.
Uther could see—could tell that the boy was important to Arthur, and
that he would be his son’s strength when his own ability might fail
him. Perhaps Arthur would be able to make work what Uther had himself
tried and utterly turned his back on with Nimueh’s betrayal; to embrace
and work together with magic to enforce peace and prosperity to their
kingdom. At the least, Uther thought he had the assurance that Merlin
showed far more loyalty and devotion to his son than he had ever
received from the sorceress.
Arthur’s manservant—the boy made Uther wonder how he might have fared
if, at that time long past, he had given his trust to Gaius instead of
Nimueh.
~end~