DISCLAIMER: Stephen Cannell, Universal Studios and their related parties hold the copyright to all names,likeness and rights to The A Team.  All these characters and materials are used without permission, and I'm not profiting from this piece of fan fiction.
Response to: [ATeamSB] Writing Exercise: Hook the Readers ;-)
Date:     Tue, 15 Mar 2005 16:39:22 -0500
From:     Pam <y2pk_2000@yahoo.com>

A new writing exercise. . .

"It'll be dark soon, and. . ."

Use this phrase to begin a scene set at night.  It should include an element of intrigue and mystery that sets up a story. 

Limit the challenge response to 500 words. You don't have to write the complete story, although it would be very nice if you did.  This exercise, however, is for the intriguing and mysterious opening. 

Give us your best hook.  ;-)
In Exchange
By firewolf
March 2005
@>;-'-

It'll be dark soon, and Face still isn't back yet.

It was supposed to be a training run. We've done hundreds of them. Today's was just Face's turn to take that extra run to town and back.

We all know he'll probably thumb a ride there. Have a beer or two with the girl who picked him up, buy a paper and a bag of snacks to prove he'd reached the town, and then start his run back. Knowing the guy, he'd manage to thumb a return ride too; have the girl 'park' a while, and get her to drop him off just far enough from the cabin for him to work up a sweat before he appears in front of Hannibal. It won't be the first time he's tried that play. But it's getting dark and he's way behind schedule.

The Colonel's looking awfully restless and I can just imagine what's going through his mind. Even the Big Guy's starting to dart looks at the window. We're remembering the time some loser put a contract on the A-Team. The Colonel sent Face on a run that time too and he never came back. We were picked off one by one, Face was just the first. We were damn lucky our captors weren't intent on killing us so quickly.

We see the lights of a car approaching before we hear it coming up the driveway. As one, we let out a sigh of relief; though Hannibal's understandably annoyed with Face's presumption to have his new acquaintance drive up so blatantly. BA exchanges grins with me as he shakes his head, and I turn to watch the car's lights back up as it departs.

But as I stare out into the darkness, my guts are roiling and telling me that something's wrong. I didn't remember seeing anyone walk towards the cabin. The Colonel can sense it too. We still haven't heard the crunch of gravel that tells us that Face is walking up.

I can't wait another minute. If Face is just taking his own sweet time to stroll over, I'll laugh about my paranoia later. Right now, I need to see him and know that he's all right.

It's pitch black out there and I trip over Face before I see him. Lord, I can't see enough of him to access his injuries, but my hands are slick from just touching him, telling me that it's bad; and I can't seem to find a pulse.

Hannibal and BA come bursting out of the cabin at my yell. Hannibal, thank god, is carrying a first aid kit and BA's gone for the van to bring it closer so we can use its lights to see how bad the damage is.

When we can finally get a good look, it turns out that it isn't Face lying dead and bloody in my arms after all. But this nude stranger is of a similar build and has blond hair and blue eyes too.

500 words *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


 Thanks for reading.
firewolf

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