DISCLAIMER: Yoshihiro Togashi/Shueisha, Jump comics, Fuji Television and Studio Pierrot hold all rights to Yuu Yuu Hakusho.  All these characters and materials are used without permission, and I'm not profiting from this piece of fan fiction.

My Place in this World
Part 3 - Interlude 1
July 1999
By firewolf

Betaread by Lori McDonald
@>;-'-

Yukina, kept her arms folded tightly in front of her as Kurama's bedroom door closed behind the Makai Lord. She didn't have to wait long before she felt the ripple of a powerful Kekkai arise, effectively sealing the room from any intruder. The stab of fear which rose within her was difficult to suppress, but she reminded herself that the S-class youkai was counted as an ally. Still, the Koorime hated feeling so helpless.

A long time ago, she might have happily stayed at the sidelines to cheer her friends on and try to keep out of their way... thinking nothing of taking up arms herself. Until that one time when an enemy of the disbanded Reikai Tantei threatened her children. Her ice powers, so long unused, were useless in stopping the youkai from taking her children from her. Eventually, her beloved Kazuma and their friends did rescue their children, but she had sworn never to let herself be so helpless again. And she had kept that vow until now. Having received the training, she developed the skill enough to defend herself and her children, that their enemies never dared to attack her loved ones through her again.

#And I have this friend to thank for my training.# Yukina turned to look at the closed door behind her.

Kazuma had objected strenuously at the idea that she should even think of sullying her hands with weapons or with blood. But she persisted in her demands and eventually they acceded, allowing Kurama to teach her.

"The Naginata... lightweight, strong..." Kurama made a few passes with it in demonstration to the appreciative koorime. "In the ningenkai's youth, horsemen would use its shorter cousin, the Nagimaki. It was a standard polearm. I had occasion to play around with it more than a thousand years ago, but as you know, my preferred weapon is the one I can call upon easily."

Kurama turned to offer the polearm to her. "It was also a preferred weapon of the female ningen of this country during its youth. Perhaps it would suit you."

She had been initially surprised at how easily she had taken to the bladed polearm, though Kurama would give her a mysterious smile at the observation. She didn't know then, as she did now, how much of a reflection she was of her brother.

Yukina shuddered and her hand immediately reached for the white hiruiseki she now wore around her neck for reassurance. Her brother's hiruiseki... A single tear of joy which he had shed when he realised she loved and accepted him for what he was. His hiruiseki... as pure and white as her own. Not like the cold blue hiruiseki of their mother or of the other Koorimes. Their red eyes and the white hiruiseki that they shared announced to all, more loudly than any other sign, that they were siblings.

Even this reunion only came to pass through Kurama's interference. She owed so much to the friend within. Every time she needed someone, or needed help in some form or another, Kurama was there. Why couldn't she do anything for him now?

Yukina fought back her tears to focus on the Kekkai around the room. Now all their hopes lay with the Makai Lord within. Before he departed, Hiei had told her that they would try to persuade Yomi to visit the Ningenkai. He had known Kurama the longest. Where they all failed, they hoped he would be able to talk some sense into Kurama.

@>;~'~ @>;~'~ @>;~'~ @>;~'~ @>;~'~ @>;~'~ @>;~'~ @>;~'~ @>;~'~ @>;~'~

Hiei sat on the windowsill of his room and stared out over the Makai forest, trying very hard not to think of a pair of green eyes, or of a golden-eyed silver youko. He shifted uncomfortably on the windowsill, cursing his long limbs as he bent his knees and tried to settle himself into a comfortable perch.

In times long past, he was once able to comfortably stretch one leg along the length of the window and hang his other leg outside for balance. Height had its disadvantages. Now it was more prudent for him to hang the stabilising limb inside the building, as he had to sit with one bent knee. Little things like this reminded him irritably of that period of adolescent growth that made him embarrassingly clumsy as he adjusted to his longer limbs and lengthening body. Not that anyone, apart from Mukuro or his fellow generals, noticed. It had surprised him that Shigure and Bui didn't tease or torment him as much as he had feared. Hiei grudgingly admitted that the three of them had come to respect each other enough to be good colleagues, if not friends.

Hiei snorted to himself as he thought of his two fellow generals. Bui still felt beholden to him for sparing his life so long ago during the Ankoku Bujutsukai. Shigure allowed that he won their duel fairly and didn't bother to contest the position of heir to Mukuro's empire.

Hiei growled to himself to recall how the busybody kitsune wrung the truth from Shigure. Years later, Hiei stilled rolled his eyes at the memory of Mukuro's frustration with the proud youkai. Shigure could not accept Kurama's act of mercy at the end of their battle, in the first Makai tournament. And even though Mukuro had blistered his hide for the trouble of having to resurrect him again, Shigure was a stubborn sod, enough to try and kill himself because of his perceived indebtedness to 'Yomi's man'. They could understand why Shigure felt his loyalty to Mukuro was threatened, but Hiei knew that Kurama would never have tried to claim any obligation. The Youko finally gave in to presenting a demand to appease a fuming Mukuro, who was quite fed up with the whole matter.

The richly ornamented youkai had been disbelieving that Kurama wanted only a story to release him from his 'debt'. But he was pleased to oblige. How the kitsune had even perceived that Shigure would know how he came to have a jagan... Hiei could only guess that Kurama had heard the same stories that once led him to Shigure so long ago. As it was, though he was not pushy about it, Kurama refused to let Hiei forget that Shigure had released him from the vow to never tell his sister who he was to her.

He unconsciously reached for his mother's hiruiseki. The one she had given his sister, but which Yukina had in turn bequeathed to him. The memories still played with his feelings of guilt and anger over the events that forced him to confess his relationship to Yukina.

It was much too easy for him to try and blame Kurama for teaching her how to fight... for guiding her and helping her to raise her skills from the lowly C-class to an A-class youkai. He had been furious with the youko when he found out that his sweet innocent sister had picked up the naginata under his direction.

'Sweet' and 'innocent'... These were words many people used to describe the Koorime who had come to stay in Genkai's temple. But Hiei was forced to admit that the illusion should have shattered for him, in what felt like a lifetime ago.

He rubbed his thumb over the blue hiruiseki in his hand as he recalled the night Yukina had handed it to him, to give to her brother. He could do nothing else but numbly accept the gem as she told him why she left the Koorime island, and why she was so determined to find her brother. He couldn't believe his ears when she confessed that she wanted her abandoned brother to exterminate her own race. To hear her say that...

In all his existence, even when he had set foot on the island to find his mother, he had never given any thought to revenge. His return to the island in the sky to visit his mother's tombstone... to see the sad regret in her friend's eyes for her death and unhappiness... to hear the startled remorse-filled cry as she called after him when he departed. It had all conspired to give him his much-needed peace. At least enough that he was ready to wash his hands of the race which abandoned him, and enough that he was ready to dismiss their importance in his future. Revenge had never entered his thoughts and even now, he had no wish to do anything to the ice maidens. But he never realised that his sister did not share his feelings in this, or that she would let this hate fester within her like an evil seed. He regretted it still that he did not think to do anything then. No. Instead, all he thought of in the three years he spent away from the Ningenkai, since he parted ways with his sister, was how much he missed the kitsune. And later, he had focused all his energies on trying to win favour with a justifiably pissed Kurama.

It was, he grudgingly admitted, much of his own fault. He should have known better than to disappear for three years without any contact with Kurama and then return to expect the half youko to accept his outright claim on his attentions. To say that Kurama was infuriated by his assumption would be an understatement. The message was clear enough, the kitsune expected to be wooed. Still, Hiei's greatest shock was that his most serious rival was the idiot.

Hiei snorted to himself. In the ningen's living years, he would never acknowledge that Kazuma Kuwabara had any redeeming qualities. But he admitted, if only to himself, that Kuwabara for all his faults and idiosyncrasies... for all the inconvenience his presence caused in the triangle with him and Kurama, when he had briefly given up his pursuit of Yukina... The idiot was a good man. And Hiei even grumblingly acknowledged that the Baka Ningen had a generous heart deserving of the affection of the playful kitsune.

On later reflection, Hiei couldn't believe the lengths he had taken to rid himself of his rival for Kurama's love. It had not missed his attention that the idiot was 'conveniently' sharing an apartment with the youko *and* attending the same university. There was no way for Hiei to compete against Kuwabara for time with *his* kitsune, not while he owed allegiance to Mukuro and had to spend most of his time in the Makai. So Hiei had to get rid of his rival, and the only acceptable way for him to do that was to first find out why Kuwabara stopped courting his sister.

He should have noticed the growing darkness in her then. He should have noticed that the passage of time had not dampened her desire for revenge on her race. Instead, his mind was obsessed with separating Kuwabara from Kurama, and to him it meant that he had to get Yukina to pay attention to Kuwabara again.

'Sweet and innocent.' Again those thoughts had immediately sprung to his mind about her when she confessed that she had not recognised Kuwabara's attention as courtship. Given that the Koorimes were a race of maidens who reproduced asexually and needed nothing of courtship or love, Hiei never gave it a second thought. He never gave any thought to the possibility that she didn't recognise it because she had no love in her heart for anyone other than their dead mother, and her missing brother. He never thought of the possibility that in her brooding, she had covered her heart with black hate for her own race.

Once he had drawn her attention to Kuwabara's previous actions and attentions though, Yukina was quick enough to realise what she had missed, and what she could have if she wanted it. From what he could tell, she appeared happy enough with the idiot, and Hiei admitted that he was comfortable with the idea of Kuwabara being his sister's protector. The ningen's loyalty and devotion could not be questioned, and he trusted that Kuwabara would sooner kill himself then to ever let any harm come to Yukina.

It was to Hiei's relief that he hadn't inevitably hurt Kurama with his plans. The Kitsune had been amused and supportive of Kuwabara when he returned to courting a now receptive Yukina. And Hiei gave no more thought to his sister as he focused on his courtship of the playful youko. He gave no thought of ever telling her that he was her brother... allowing that darkness to remain festering inside her heart. All else that followed was like a brief distraction in his sister's life.

Then, there was the time when her children were threatened and she was helpless to do anything. Again he should have recognised the darkness within her when she determinedly took up the naginata. No. Instead, all he felt was anger at Kurama for teaching her how to use it, and later secret pride for how good she was with the bladed polearm.

It wasn't until Kuwabara's death from old age nearly two decades ago that he saw that festering darkness burst forth. When he realised that his sister gave up waiting for her brother to appear and thought to take revenge on her race on his behalf. Now that she was a high A-class ice mage, a skilled wielder of the naginata, and a strong enough healer that she could heal her own minor injuries in mid-fight, she felt little reason to wait on her revenge anymore. With her beloved Kazuma's death and their children now adults, Yukina felt that she was ready to take on the role she had previously wanted her brother to fill. Hiei had to sheepishly admit that if he hadn't been so scared for her bout of 'madness' he would have been damn proud of his sister for her combat ability.

Again, he could have easily blamed Kurama for developing the skill within his sister, but the darkness within her was his fault. It was his fault for not recognising it and allowing the thoughts of revenge to fester. It was his fault for not revealing himself to her and allowing her the same peace he had found for himself when he left the Koorime island that second time. He shuddered to think of how close he had been to losing his sister to the festering hate. If Kurama had not noticed her disappearance... if he had not got word to him and Yuusuke in time... Yukina would have committed outright genocide on her own race, and Konema would have been forced to send the Reikai Tantei to take her in.

Even then, when he revealed himself to her... when he felt her overwhelming love for him touching his soul enough that he shed his first hiruiseki... even then, her hate and desire for revenge had not subsided. And he saw how keeping the secret from her had stifled the innocence and sweetness he so cherished. He didn't know then if he had the strength to fight her to stop her from committing genocide. Fortunately, the crafty kitsune had a much more fitting sentence.

With his glib tongue, Kurama managed to convince Yukina to let the Koorime live on their sufferance. That it was a greater revenge for the ice maidens to forever remember that their race had been spared by the twins they had so cruelly wronged over a century ago. A forbidden child whose Kokuryuuha could have easily destroyed their beloved island decades ago if he had so wished; and the Koorime who was his twin, who nearly killed every Koorime on the island if not for her brother's interference.

As Yuusuke and Kurama reminded the isle's survivors on their departure, any attempt by them to harm the twins would bring the wrath of the three Makai kingdoms on their doorstep. The koorime had seethed, but nothing had come of the attack since. And Mukuro's spies had reported nothing back to indicate they had any intention of trying.

So Yukina had settled down back in the Ningenkai, taking up duties with the new Reikai Tantei. Hiei regretted the loss of her innocence as new steel took its place, but he did rejoice for the peace that she now exhibited, which drove out the darkness in her soul.

Hiei closed his eyes. Almost all that was good in his life, he could attribute to the interfering half-youko... Whose life was slipping away in the ningenkai.

#Damn it, Kurama! Why are you doing this to yourself?!# He cursed to himself as he fought back tears. He never felt like crying so much in all his life. "Ai shiteru, why isn't that enough to bring you back to the Makai?"

"Perhaps that is because it *isn't* enough for a life."

Hiei jerked his attention towards his door. "Mukuro?"

"I've been standing here for quite a while, Hiei." She nodded to him before entering the room. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He snorted as he watched the orange-haired Makai Lord walk to his table and hook her rump on its edge.

"You overrate love in his kind. He is youko. They can have half a dozen lovers and loves at the same time, and be completely devoted to each. You cannot use love to move a youko's decisions..."
Yomi's words echoed in his mind again and reminded him of something else the Makai King had casually said.

"You've slept with Kurama before?"

Mukuro recognised the tone as a statement more than it was a question.

"Many times. He was kind enough to recognise a lonely spirit and fill a need." She raised a finger at her heir to stop him from interrupting her as she continued. "But we would be delusional if we tried to claim any feeling of love between us. It was just enjoyable sex."

Hiei coughed and spluttered at the statement. "Kurama isn--"

"He is not a slut." Mukuro rolled her organic eye at him. "He is a youko. One of the most sensual creatures found in the Makai. Don't make the mistake of pushing your own moral standards on another race, Hiei. From what little we know of youkos, sex to them is as much an expression of friendship and fondness as it is of love."

Hiei turned away from her.

"Sex does not equal love, Hiei. It never has, it never will. It can be an expression of love. But there can be sex without love, and love without sex. If all these years living apart from Kurama hasn't taught you this, I don't know where your mind has been." Her smile turned naughty as she continued. "Or do you love Kurama *just* because he's a good lay? And *I* have to admit he is good in bed."

"Hn!" Hiei's eyes narrowed as they turned to rest on his liege. Mukuro waved off his dark look and came closer to tousle his hair fondly. He slapped at her hand in irritation.

"Don't do that."

"And why not Hi-chan." She looked at him indulgently.

Hiei groaned inwardly. Over the years, he had grown to respect and love Mukuro like an elder sister or a favoured aunt he never had, but it did so irritate him whenever she decided to treat him like a child.

"I hat--"

"I'll call you whatever I want, especially when you're acting like a selfish spoilt brat."

"Nan da to?"

She pulled him off the windowsill and dropped him on the bed. Considering how much taller Hiei was compared to Mukuro, this was quite a feat. However, Hiei's mind was on other matters. He recognised the signs of an imminent lecture as Mukuro dragged the chair over to the bed and straddled the seat in front of him.

"Brat." She poked a finger at his nose for emphasis. "For the past two months you've been treating Kurama's impending death as if it is some sort of betrayal. That he surprised all of you by staying in the ningenkai to die.

"I've heard nothing else but how his passing would impact on your life, how much you'll have to adjust to his absence and how disappointed you are in him for being stupid enough to live just the ningen life span. Tell me, just what did you do to prepare yourself and Kurama for a life together in the Makai?"

"..."

"Knowing Kurama for the person that he is, wouldn't you think that he'd have prepared an arbour for himself if he intended to return. And what was he returning to? He already resigned from Yomi's service five years ago. Where would you have him stay, here in my castle? Wouldn't that raise Yomi's ire? Would he stay with Yuusuke? It would be rubbing Yomi's nose in the dirt and he's too fond of the horny idiot to do that. With Yomi? Why did he resign, then?"

"He is a youko! His kind belong to the Makai."

"But does his soul belong here? Have you ever given any thought to what *he* wants in his life? Do you even know what brought joy to his life?" Mukuro rested her chin on the back of the chair as she stared into his eyes. "You are not a love sick adolescent anymore, Hiei. Tell me, what made you think *your* confession of love would be enough to entice the youko back to the Makai? Kurama is more than a thousand years old. I would even venture to guess that he has seen over two millennia worth of summers. What has the Makai to offer Kurama, that he would want to live here again?"

"What did the Ningenkai offer that he'd want to die there? The ningen life is too fleeting to accomplish anything."

"Why don't you tell me?" Mukuro countered. "You have been his friend and lover for over a century. What made your kitsune want to stay in the ningenkai long after his ningen mother passed away?"

Hiei hung his head guiltily, he didn't know. He and his sister, who owed so much of their happiness to the half youko, didn't know enough about him to understand why he was giving up his multi-millennia life span.

To be Continued...


Thanks for reading.
firewolf

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