DISCLAIMER:
The characters belong to Sai Yukino and Kairi Yura, Kadokawa Shoten,
Madhouse Studios, etc., i.e., not me.
I'm just borrowing them for a
while to spin a tale
Submitted for Saiun
Challenge's Week 4 Prompt.
Word Count: +250 words. I won joint First Place.
Of Trust and
Pain
By firewolf
June 2008
@>;-'-
Kouyuu never understood why
he
started flinching away from Shuuei. He never used to be so sensitive to
his best friend's casual breaching of his personal space.
When he finally found spare
time in his busy schedule as the Prime
Minister's new Aide, Kouyuu retreated to his palace chambers and left
his guard wolf outside his door to ward away all who might interrupt
him. Since Shiro always seriously undertook her duties to guard
her master, none other than Kou Shouka, her primary trainer, would be
able to get by her. And Kouyuu trusted Shouka sama's judgment to come
pull him from his retreat if he forgot about time.
Alone with his thoughts,
Kouyuu found himself frequently returning to
the memory of the night he had saved the life of Shuurei's handmaiden
Kourin when she tried to commit suicide. That night, Shuuei had taken
Kouyuu's hand in his and had promised him that he would always find him
if Kouyuu lost his way.
This memory, however, also
evoked the one of Shuuei leaving Kiyou for
the Ran province, thus severing the existence of the Emperor's twin
flowers. At the time, Kouyuu was kept too busy by his father to dwell
on the hurt he felt for Shuuei's abandonment. And later, when the
Censorate arrested him for over stepping his authority, he was too
caught up in his misery and shock over Reishin's apparent abandonment
to think of anything else.
That horrible period ended
with Shuuei's eventual return after being
disinherited by the Rans, and Kouyuu arranging for his father's
dismissal from a job he never wanted to do anyway. But it also marked
the restoration of the Emperor's flowers, now fully pledged to him and
untainted by clan bias.
Woe it was then, for Kouyuu
to realise during this introspection that
though he and Shuuei were reunited by Ryuuki's side, he had lost his
trust in his best friend. And there was no greater symbol of this than
the white wolf his father gifted to him to find and guide Kouyuu to his
destinations when he lost his way. For Kouyuu could put his trust in
Shiro, knowing that she would never betray him; unlike Shuuei with his
broken promises.
Kouyuu mourned the loss of
this trust, and though he was proclaimed by
some to be a genius of this current era, he hadn't the faintest idea
how the bonds of friendship between him and Shuuei could even begin to
be repaired. He-- It had hurt, and it still did hurt to think of the
broken promise. And Kouyuu was afraid to ever let Shuuei get that close
again.
A soft call brought Shiro
nosing her head around the door to look in on
him. Kouyuu sighed as he gestured for his wolf to stop guarding his
door and to enter. It was time for him to set aside his memories of the
past and carry on with life in the present.
Shiro didn’t immediately come
in at his call though. It surprised
Kouyuu to see the white wolf duck out again before pushing the door
wider with her rump as she started to drag something from outside after
her.
*~*
Outside Kouyuu's palace
quarters, Shuuei stared disconsolately at
Shiro. Though the wolf pup no longer growled at him and would in fact
wag her tail in greeting whenever she saw him, she still would not
budge and allow him to pass.
It about killed Shuuei that
he knew why Kouyuu was so troubled and even
understood why the younger man was no longer comfortable with his
proximity. And he cursed himself for his thoughtlessness in breaking a
promise to his best friend.
He hadn't spared a single
thought about Kouyuu when he fled Kiyou to
return to the Ran province. His mind had been entirely on the political
manoeuvrings of the court and his own uncertain status with the Emperor
versus his clan then.
Shuuei only remembered his
promise to Kouyuu when he returned to Kiyou
with Ryuuki to find out the younger man had been arrested shortly after
they all left for the Ran province. Shuuei had been completely stricken
to realise how the timing must have made Kouyuu believe he had been
abandoned by all his loved ones. And it had distressed them all further
when they returned only to watch helplessly as Kouyuu slipped into a
coma no one could rouse him from.
Shuuei had never felt more
useless in his life to find himself unable
to do more for Kouyuu than to sit by his side or just see to his body's
physical needs while he lay in a coma. This memory of watching his best
friend looking so grey and growing thinner over the weeks of his coma
despite Shuuei's best efforts to get sustenance into him would haunt
Shuuei to his dying day.
If there was anything which
slammed into him the depth of his feelings
for his best friend, it was this horrific period. Even so, Shuuei was
too afraid to act on his feelings when Kouyuu woke up. For he realized
then the great responsibility he would be undertaking if he regained
the younger man's trust. Shuuei knew without a doubt if he earned
Kouyuu's love and betrayed him a second time, that it would probably
break his fragile spirit beyond all repair.
Now though, Shuuei had come
to recognise his and Kouyuu's complete
misery in their half repaired friendship. However, as much as he was a
military genius acknowledged to fast regain his lost rank of General,
Shuuei had no idea how to begin a campaign to restore the warmth and
trust which once existed between them.
So lost was he in his
thoughts, Shuuei didn't notice when Shiro moved
to nose open Kouyuu's door and look in on her master. He was even less
prepared to have her suddenly grab onto the skirt of his court robes
and pull him towards Kouyuu's now open door.
*~*
"Shiro?!" Both men exclaimed
simultaneously as Shuuei fairly stumbled
through the door with the white wolf's insistent pulling.
Shiro released Shuuei's robes
and padded towards Kouyuu, whereupon she
grabbed his belt 'lead' in her jaws and pulled him to his feet to
within a few meters of the bemused Shuuei. Then, positioned to her
satisfaction, the white wolf sat down and looked expectantly from one
man to the other.
"I suppose," Shuuei cracked a
nervous smile at Kouyuu, "her majesty
here has decided we should talk?"
"I--" Kouyuu swallowed,
throwing a dubious look at his wolf before
facing Shuuei again, "I guess we really should."
Shiro snorted at them drawing
the two men to laugh. Perhaps, this was
all they really needed to start to clear the air between them... and
begin to repair their friendship.
~owari~